10 Reasons Summer Is The Best Drinking Season


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Summer Drinking

There’s nothing quite like sipping a mixed drink poolside on a hot, summer afternoon. With no responsibilities to ignore and the sun beaming down on your face, you can enjoy life as it was meant to be lived. “Darty season” opens an entire new world to those of us who drink regularly. Gone are the days of drinking in stuffy basements and crowded bars. Summer is here and there are so many reasons to rejoice.

1. It’s never too soon to start.
Partying outdoors means that if the sun’s up, it’s time to drink. It’s perfectly acceptable to pop the tops at 10 a.m. Hell, even before that! The best way to get over your hangover from last night is to start your morning with a drink. That’s what mimosas were invented for, right?

2. Outdoor seating.
It’s summer and the bars have opened up their porches and rooftop seating so you can enjoy your craft beers in the crisp nighttime. (Unless, you live in a place where this option is always available, then just skip to #3.) The scenic views help you capture the perfect insta and that creepy guy who won’t take a hint is much more bearable under the moonlight.

3. Endless lawn games.
Cornhole, wiffle beer, dizzy bat, beer darts, horseshoes, kanjam, beer die, frisbeer, the list goes on and on. There are not nearly as many games that can be played inside. The more and more you drink, the better these games get. Just don’t forget to take some timeouts. For keg stands, of course.

4. Freedom to boot wherever you please.
No need to run to the bathroom when you get that “I shouldn’t have shotgunned that last beer” nauseating feeling. The world is now your puke bucket. Just be sure to avoid high traffic areas. Vomit behind the shrubs, straighten yourself out, and get back out there, champ.

5. The dress code is on your side.
Put away those heels and mini skirts. The attire of a good backyard party is comfy casual and it couldn’t be any better. Rompers and sundresses can be paired with strappy sandals for a cute look with no effort at all. Don’t forget your matching coozie. And don’t worry about caking on your face makeup because you’ll probably end up sweating it all off anyway.

6. Get tan while getting drunk.
What better to go along with your summer OOTD than a perfect tan. Don’t make the mistake of being the only pale girl at the party. Put on that low SPF and work your way to becoming a bronzed goddess. Just remember to hydrate with good ‘ol H2O to keep your skin and body happy.

7. Sunglasses hide your drunk eyes.
Sunglasses don’t get nearly all the credit they deserve. Not only do they protect your eyes from UV rays. Not only do they look stylish and totally pull your outfit together. They also hide the fact that you got barely any sleep last night and you’re really feeling that fourth margarita. Don’t worry, though. Your basic bitch Ray Ban aviators are hiding all the evidence.

8. Beaches, boats, and campfires.
A new door of possibilities opens up with the arrival of 80 degree weather. Now you can spend all day with you toes in the sand and a Corona in your hand. Or let the breeze blow through your hair as you sip wine on your father’s boat. Or hang back with friends at a backwoods campfire and down some cold ones. It really doesn’t get any more summer than that.

9. Better drink selections.
For some reason, alcohol just gets better in the summer. Beers come in new fruit flavored varieties that make them slightly more bearable. In fact, fruit seems to be added to all drinks. Lemonade becomes the ultimate mixer. Happy hours feature the bitch drinks you’ve been craving all year. Did I mention alcoholic slushies? Because that’s a thing.

10. More time to party.
You don’t have to worry about last call being right around the corner. Drinking with the sunlight means you have all morning, all afternoon, and even parts of the evening to exercise your right to drink. And then the next day to do it all again.

Drink up, bitches.

Blackout_B (@b_m4rie) enjoys drinking beer by the gallon and making memories she'll never actually remember. When she isn't embarrassing herself by making out with randos on the dance floor, you can find her pretending it's normal to drink a glass of wine with breakfast every day. It's fun to sit down with her on Sunday mornings and hear how fucked up her weekend was. Send inquires about her sanity to: brionna346@gmail.com

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