101 Never Have I Evers For Terrible People


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101 Never Have I Evers

Never Have I Ever is perhaps one of the most fun games of all time. Except when it comes time to actually coming up with things you’ve never done — which simultaneously makes you feel uncreative, for not being able to think of anything, and like a terrible person, because well, you keep thinking of all the bad things you’ve done. Personally, I hate when people get weirdly specific “Never have I ever done any drugs harder than weed.” That person can shut the fuck up. And the person who has never “had sex with more than ten people”? That’s not even fucking grammatical. That’s an “I haven’t,” not an “I’ve never.” I digress. The worst person, perhaps, is the one saying ridiculous shit that no one in the room has ever done. “Never have I ever been in a porno. Never have I ever shot heroin.” Yeah, fucking duh. That person should be eliminated. If you say something and no one puts a finger down, you have to drink and go again.

So what’s left? Below are some fairly creative Never Have I Evers when you’re on the spot. Some of these are things most people have definitely done, so it’s good to get your nemesis to drop a finger, and some are probably just shit you haven’t done, but someone in the room has. Don’t worry, they all make you a bad person. No one cares about the guy who says he’s never been to Starbucks, or the girl who’s never seen a shooting star.

  1. Kissed someone who doesn’t speak English
  2. Seen an uncircumcised penis IRL
  3. Shoplifted
  4. Flashed my tits/streaked/been naked in public
  5. Snuck out of a guy’s house
  6. Gone skinny dipping
  7. Purchased drugs
  8. Worn chicken cutlets
  9. Gone braless
  10. Had sex in my parents’ house
  11. Cheated on a test
  12. Had sex overseas/in another country
  13. Had sex in [neighboring state/city]
  14. Drank Everclear
  15. Drank Absinthe
  16. Given road head
  17. Received road head
  18. Had a threesome
  19. Had a foursome
  20. Hooked up with more than one person in a week
  21. Hooked up with more than one person in a night/within 24 hours
  22. Made a sex tape
  23. Taken a cumshot
  24. Smoked a cigar
  25. Thrown up at a bar
  26. Made out with a bartender/bouncer
  27. Given a rim job
  28. Received a rim job
  29. Put my finger in someone’s butt
  30. Had a finger in my butt
  31. Showered with someone
  32. Had period sex
  33. Done role play
  34. Watched porn (alone, with someone)
  35. Body shots
  36. Shaved last-minute at a guy’s house
  37. Slept at a frat house
  38. Hooked up with someone in [name a frat]
  39. Hooked up with someone in every frat on campus
  40. Hooked up with an athlete
  41. Pegged someone/been pegged
  42. Had sex with someone more than five times
  43. Used a vibrator
  44. Used a vibrator (or other toy) with a partner
  45. Gone to a sex shop
  46. Edibles (pot brownies, etc)
  47. Worn lingerie for someone
  48. Hooked up with someone more than five years older (10 years older, 20, etc)
  49. Hooked up with someone five or more years younger
  50. Drunkenly wet the bed
  51. Wet the bed with someone else in it
  52. Had sex on the beach
  53. Had sex in a public restroom/fitting room
  54. Called someone the wrong name during a hookup
  55. Flirted my way out of a ticket
  56. Had parents walk in on me during sex
  57. Had a roommate walk in on me during sex
  58. Hooked up with someone for alcohol
  59. Used a fake ID
  60. Anal
  61. Gone to class drunk
  62. Gone to class stoned
  63. Kissed at the top of the ferris wheel
  64. Let someone go down on me if I haven’t showered
  65. Used someone for sex
  66. Used someone for meals/dates
  67. Made out with a stripper
  68. Hooked up with a friend’s sibling
  69. Kissed someone of the same sex
  70. Done drugs at a bar
  71. Had sex in water (hot tub, swimming pool, natural water)
  72. Taken Adderall
  73. Sent a nude
  74. Hooked up with someone I met on Tinder
  75. Masturbated to someone in the room
  76. Called someone “Daddy” in bed
  77. Been set up with someone
  78. Been tied up
  79. Done any BDSM
  80. Had an STD (HPV counts, suckers)
  81. Lied to someone to get them into bed (name, age, fake accent, etc)
  82. Drunk cried
  83. Hit someone/been in a fight
  84. Snuck out of my parents’ house
  85. Been arrested/been in the back of a cop car
  86. Cheated on someone
  87. Been the other woman
  88. Gotten whiskey dick
  89. Taken down a monster cock
  90. Squirted
  91. Gone to a strip club
  92. Lost underwear at someone’s house
  93. Passed out in public
  94. Cum in under two minutes
  95. Been kicked out of a bar
  96. Given someone the wrong number on purpose
  97. Ghosted someone
  98. Gone commando
  99. Sexted the wrong person
  100. Taken Plan B
  101. Gotten a dick pic

Pro-tip: tally how many of these you’ve done to see if you’re a bad person! Fun!

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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