Thanksgiving break is always exciting. Your parents are happy to see you, your creepy uncle sneaks you a bottle of vodka, and your grandmother slips you a little cold hard cash “just because.” This is all well and good, except in exchange for all of these things, you have to answer a million questions about your life. Questions you don’t have answers for. Questions that, quite frankly, haven’t crossed you mind at all because you’ve been too busy drinking and calculating what the minimum grade you need on a test to pass. So instead of being honest and saying “I have no fucking clue,” you give bullshit answers instead of saying what you’re really thinking. Here’s exactly how your Thanksgiving conversations with your family will go:
- “It’s so good to see you! How’s your year been?”
You: It’s been so great! Things are going so well at school, it’s crazy how fast time flies. I feel like I was just a freshman.
You, honestly: I still feel like a freshman and am currently racking my brain for a story to tell you about school that doesn’t involve drinking, eating, or drunk eating.
- “Any plans for after graduation?”
You: Yeah, I’ve started to look at a bunch of really promising companies and have a few interviews lined up.
You, honestly: I check LinkedIn a couple times a week and am kind of just hoping something magically works out. Fingers crossed, right?
- “How are your classes going? Do you like them this year?”
You: Yeah, it’s really great to be taking classes that interest me and are about what I actually want to do in the future!
You, honestly: I contemplate at least 5 times a day if I’m in the right major.
- “What happened to the nice boy you were talking to this summer?”
You: Things just got difficult when we both got busy with school and work. Just bad timing.
You, honestly: Turns out he was being a “nice boy” to three other girls who are probably answering this same question right now!
- “What were you for Halloween? Do you still dress up?”
You: Yeah, my friends and I went as Disney princesses!
You, honestly: My friends and I went as Disney princesses, and my costume was probably the exact same one you bought for your 4-year-old daughter. So great to feel like a little kid again.
- “Who was the cute boy in your picture from Halloween?”
You: Just a good friend of mine. We lived on the same floor freshman year and are in the same major.
You, honestly: I have no fucking clue but naturally needed a picture with him because “our costumes matched!”
- “Is he the same boy as the boy in your pictures from your semi formal?”
You: Nope, that’s the kid I’m seeing right now. It’s going really well!
You, honestly: Nope, that’s the kid I’m hooking up with, and every now and then we get breakfast after hooking up and that’s the extent of my dating in college so don’t get your hopes up about meeting him. Great guy, though.
- “Did you see the news the other day about [blah blah blah]”
You: Yes, that’s crazy!
You, honestly: My roommates and I didn’t want to pay for cable and therefore if it’s not on Netflix, I haven’t seen it and probably never will. Season 3 of Grey’s for the third time is going great, though.
- “What about [blah blah blah]? Did you see that story?”
You: Yes, I read an article about that the other day.
You, honestly: The brother of one of my friend’s friends from high school definitely retweeted something about that. I think.
- “Did you hear Aunt Karen is pregnant?”
You: Aw, that’s so exciting! When is she due?
You, honestly: I once cried actual tears of joy in a CVS this year when I got my period. Happy for her though!
- “Wow I’m stuffed, I haven’t eaten this much good food since last Thanksgiving.”
You: Agreed, so good.
You, honestly: This almost rivals the amount of pizza I ate the other night at 2 a.m. after stumbling home and calling Domino’s from my Uber.
- “Have you been saving up for an apartment after school?”
You: Yeah, my job has been a lot of fun and I’ve been really good at saving my money from it.
You, honestly: I bought a round for everyone, strangers included, on my 21st birthday and didn’t even know about it until I checked my bank statement the next day.
Whatever questions your family throws at you this Thanksgiving, just be thankful that this will likely be the biggest shit show stage of your life, and you can blame pretty much any of your bad decisions, regrets, and mistakes on being *~YoUnG & FrEe~*. Also, give thanks for the wine at your Thanksgiving dinner. The wine won’t judge your honest answers. .