12 Reasons Why We Love Frat Pledges


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Nice Move


Pledge season is the best season, not only because it’s fall but because he future of Greek life is upon us, and we could not be more excited.

1. Rush Week is over.
Finally your boyfriend/friend with benefits/hookup/best friend is finished with his week of bro dating at Hooters and can go back to paying attention to you. Because seriously, Cigar Night pales in comparison to a night of playing with your hair and listening to how annoying your lab partner is.

2. Every frat guy’s place is spotless.
The sink looks so much bigger without all those dishes in it. And are those vacuum tracks I see?! For the first time since they moved into the apartment, you can safely drink out of cups and take your shoes off without stepping on debris.

3. You can get rides ANYWHERE.
The world is your oyster when there are frat pledges. No longer will you have to hobble like Bambi on ice in your heels to parties or the bars. Just one text, and your cramped chariot awaits.

4. You get to little hunt for your friends.
None of your bros are allowed to take a total dweeb as a little. He is basically your little by extension. You get to put the new pledges through a scrutinizing test before you decide who is good enough to be associated with you and your crew.

5. You get to boy hunt for your little.
While grilling them about being a little, you can take notes in the back of your head of who to set up with your own. They are way too young for you anyway. She’ll thank you later.

6. They are the hosts with the most.
Need a beer? They gotchu. The guy you don’t like is trying to get into the party? They gotchu. Your friend is puking in the bathroom? They gotchu. The backyard is covered in an aluminum blanket of beer cans? They gotchu. They are bouncers, servers, mother hens, and cleanup crew all in one.

7. You always have a date to formal/semi/date parties.
Whether it’s your own chapter’s function or one of theirs that you really want to go to, the pledges don’t know enough girls to have one readily available. Get wasted, tie up his tie, take some cute pictures, have a blast on the dance floor, and maybe if he’s lucky, you’ll kiss him on the cheek.

8. Pledges are like Mary Poppins.
Somehow, the pledges always happen to have what you need in their bags. Whether it’s a pen, a granola bar, a condom, a bus schedule into the city, or a spare tire, they’ll have it.

9. They (have to) worship the ground you walk on.
Everything that seeps out of your mouth is pure brilliance. Your jokes are hilarious. Every tweet is retweet worthy. Did you get a haircut? Well, it looks great. Whether they are trying to kiss your ass to get close to your sisters or the older brothers in the chapter, or just get you on their good side, the flattery won’t go to waste.

10. Pledges are down for anything, especially drinking.
Pledges are so amped to be a part of a fraternity, that they’ll do anything you ask them to do. You can take them to Home Depot with you so you don’t have to keep asking the workers dumb questions, or have them help you finish that handle of Fireball that someone should have taken away from you four shots ago. Fortunately, no one will notice how wasted you are because the pledges that aren’t running the show are always the drunkest at the party.

11. Pledges are beef squashers.
Regardless of any problems older members of the chapter may have had, the pledges have the opportunity to mend relations with each other. That couple that had the history’s nastiest breakup has graduated and all can be right in the world again.

12. You can watch them grow into fraternity men.
They get their goofy and embarrassing pledge names (you still aren’t sure what a few of their real names are) and they receive a whole new identity. They shape the chapter into what they want its image to be. You get to watch them rise to the top, while still reserving the right to bring them back down to the pledge that they once were.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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