- Guys that are super buff.
Like protein powder, jug of water toting, hashtag fitness fit.
- A single red rose.
That’s only okay for “The Bachelor,” or “The Phantom of the Opera.”
- A really big you-know-what.
- And sex that lasts all night.
Chances are we’re not going to like that heart shaped pendant necklace.
- Stuffed animals on Valentine’s Day.
Why? Why would I want a children’s toy I’ll throw away in a month?!
- Getting in a fist fight over you.
Step off the roids, bro.
- Or “defending” you by yelling at another guy for giving you attention.
Please breathe. Relax.
- Being intentionally emotional.
We know you really don’t want to watch “The Notebook.” It’s okay.
- Sending surprise pictures of your genitalia.
Don’t send that unless we ask for it. Which we probably won’t.
- Trying to get ~creative~ in the bedroom too soon.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy.
- Putting a label on things.
I feel like I literally just swiped right.
- Pet names.
“Hey sugar pie sweetie honeysuckle pooh bear darlin’, can I buy you a drink?”
- Getting showered in compliments.
After awhile it’s not special. Tell me I look beautiful after I’ve spent hours perfecting my hair. Or when I feel fat..