15 Things Worse Than Failing Your Finals


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failing finals

Right around this time of year, you are probably begrudgingly packing up your belongings, piling into a car, and making the sad trek back to your hometown or to your fancy new internship. Either way, the end of the year comes in a whirlwind, leaving you exhausted, hungover, and even experiencing mild PTSD from your final exams. Hopefully, you have since been reunited with your dog, unpacked, and begun your self-restoration plan. There is one catch, however: you have to check your grades. But remember, ladies, that a number or letter will not define you. And if that doesn’t comfort you, take solace in knowing that there are many things worse than failing your finals.

  1. Failing a pregnancy test.
    Your grade won’t change no matter how many times you take it.
  2. Getting the wrong latte.
    Bonus points if it’s on an exam day.
  3. Failing your new employer’s drug test.
    See above: cannot retake.
  4. Having to tell parents about the said drug test.
    No, Mom, I didn’t know there was weed in those brownies.
  5. Then having to find a new summer job that does not involve becoming a stripper.
    Skills include: failing exams and drug tests.
  6. Realizing your dog doesn’t remember who you are.
    She never loved me.
  7. And neither do your high school friends.
    More heartbroken over the dog, tbh.
  8. Accidentally leaving your phone charger at school for the summer.
    Suddenly you’re 13, without a phone again.
  9. Finding out that your professor won’t curve your grade up to an A.
    What? Why won’t you bump my 74.3 up to a 90?
  10. And then realizing you will have to retake the class.
    Because going through hell once just wasn’t enough.
  11. Getting a text from your high school boyfriend.
    Or worse: not getting a text from him.
  12. Weighing yourself for the first time all year.
    My grade didn’t go up fifteen points but my weight sure did.
  13. Realizing you will have to go a whole three months without seeing your best friends.
    Or your favorite bar.
  14. Remembering that you have siblings.
    How did I survive eighteen years like this?
  15. The road trip home with your parents.
    So this is how it ends.
  16. Just your friendly reminder to always be thankful, because you could have it much worse.

PSLsandPearls has been shotgunning lattes and looking good since the mid 1990's. In her free time, she cuddles with any animal she can find and incessantly bitches about how busy she is. You can email her at PSLandPearlsTSM@gmail.com (note the single PSL).

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