Right around this time of year, you are probably begrudgingly packing up your belongings, piling into a car, and making the sad trek back to your hometown or to your fancy new internship. Either way, the end of the year comes in a whirlwind, leaving you exhausted, hungover, and even experiencing mild PTSD from your final exams. Hopefully, you have since been reunited with your dog, unpacked, and begun your self-restoration plan. There is one catch, however: you have to check your grades. But remember, ladies, that a number or letter will not define you. And if that doesn’t comfort you, take solace in knowing that there are many things worse than failing your finals.
- Failing a pregnancy test.
Your grade won’t change no matter how many times you take it.
- Getting the wrong latte.
Bonus points if it’s on an exam day.
- Failing your new employer’s drug test.
See above: cannot retake.
- Having to tell parents about the said drug test.
No, Mom, I didn’t know there was weed in those brownies.
- Then having to find a new summer job that does not involve becoming a stripper.
Skills include: failing exams and drug tests.
- Realizing your dog doesn’t remember who you are.
She never loved me.
- And neither do your high school friends.
More heartbroken over the dog, tbh.
- Accidentally leaving your phone charger at school for the summer.
Suddenly you’re 13, without a phone again.
- Finding out that your professor won’t curve your grade up to an A.
What? Why won’t you bump my 74.3 up to a 90?
- And then realizing you will have to retake the class.
Because going through hell once just wasn’t enough.
- Getting a text from your high school boyfriend.
Or worse: not getting a text from him.
- Weighing yourself for the first time all year.
My grade didn’t go up fifteen points but my weight sure did.
- Realizing you will have to go a whole three months without seeing your best friends.
Or your favorite bar.
- Remembering that you have siblings.
How did I survive eighteen years like this?
- The road trip home with your parents.
So this is how it ends.
Just your friendly reminder to always be thankful, because you could have it much worse..