21 Things My Tiny Girl Brain Can’t Comprehend


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32 Reasons Why Sorority Girls Are The Most Stressed Out Humans

Ugh, being a girl is so hard, periods, straightening hair, blah blah blah. But you know who really has the cards stacked against them? Men. All we have to worry about is getting their attention, while they have to know everything about everything. My small, incompetent girl brain could never handle half of the subject matters that guys are able to get a grasp of. I can’t handle my alcohol, let alone quantum physics. We’re so lucky to have guys around to help us out where all of us girls will inevitably fall short.

  1. Sports
    Can’t play them. Can’t understand them. It’s just too much to handle.
  2. Cars
    Once my dad tried to teach my how to drive stick and I literally suffered a brain contusion because I was thinking too hard.
  3. Feminism
    Did you know feminism is what is ruining this country? I overheard a guy say that once, so it’s true.
  4. Science
    Science, shmience. If you need me, I’ll be scouring the internet for celebrity Twitter fights.
  5. Weather
    Is there just one big cloud or a bunch of little clouds? And how does the sun know when it’s daytime?
  6. TV Shows Other Than Reality TV
    Unless it’s with the Kardashians, I can’t keep up.
  7. Directions
    I would lose my way from the kitchen to my bedroom if I didn’t make the trip so often. Eating makes me quirky and cute.
  8. Working Out
    Not only can my tiny girl brain not remember all the workouts, my weak girl muscles could never actually do them.
  9. Books
    No thanks. I’ll just read the back of my expensive shampoo bottles.
  10. Women’s Rights
    I had no idea what to do with my body so it’s just easier to let a bunch of old men decided for me. They know best.
  11. History
    I barely remember what I had for dinner yesterday, let alone who the president during WWI was. Hold on, I remember, it was Ben Franklin.
  12. Movies
    Wait, who is that guy again? Is he the bad guy?
  13. Politics
    I didn’t even register to vote because I just know I’ll have no idea who to pick. Or even how to vote.
  14. Math
    The Pythagorean what now?
  15. Sex
    Not only do I not talk about it because I’m a lady, I honestly really don’t understand it enough to talk about it.
  16. Computers
    I know how to get on social media and that’s all I need.
  17. Budgets
    I spend money as soon as I get it. What’s a savings account? Or a 401(k)?
  18. Fashion
    Without men, I would have no idea how slutty my outfits are. Which apparently includes most of them. I can’t believe I thought it was appropriate to wear a tank top to class.
  19. Current Events
    It all happens so fast I just can’t keep up.
  20. Fixing Stuff
    How many girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero, because we just get a guy to do it!
  21. Satire
    I don’t understand it and therefore it offends me.

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A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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