23 Things A Sorority Girl Would Do If Chosen As A Hunger Games Tribute

Pin

Email this to a friend

Nice Move

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 10.13.37 AM

1. Try and organize a darty on the first day, while everyone is still alive and there are more options for potential beer pong partners.

2. Send away for her uniform to be monogrammed with her initials and her Greek letters.

3. Bring along her best painted function cooler filled with various potential weapons, as well as a case of Natty.

4. Force President Snow to throw her sorority’s gang sign upon introduction.

5. Somehow manage to make her appointed uniform slutty, and then yell at male tributes when caught staring.

6. Try to arrange a human pyramid among the other tributes for the perfect photo op.

7. Have a one night stand with a tribute right off the bat, and then act completely shocked when she discovers that all of the other tributes somehow know.

8. Spread rumors about a female tribute after a bitchy and totally uncalled for murder attempt. Subtweet about the incident. #rude

9. Desperately try not to get blood on her sunglasses because they’re her roommate’s and she borrowed them without asking.

10. Refuse to spear a male tribute because she heard that he hasn’t settled on a formal date yet.

11. Politely request that the gamekeepers play “Timber” when announcing the fallen tributes at the end of the night.

12. Start a charity for a fallen tribute as an excuse to make philanthropy t-shirts.

13. Wear rain boots to tough out the harsh arena conditions, but then freak out when they actually get dirty.

14. Not bother to look for actual food because her #1 slam’s fraternity date party is coming up and she wants to look awesome in her dress.

15. Throw a fit when she can’t figure out how to connect to arena wifi.

16. Focus all of her efforts on hunting a tribute who is a member of her rival sorority.

17. Manage to pull a lot of sponsor support through various sorority connections and networkings. Request mimosas ASAP.

18. Borrow a male tribute’s pocket tee and not return it.

19. Know which wild berries will taste the best with the gin she has distilled.

20. Spend the majority of her time invested in a garden so she could grow the ingredients necessary to make her own version of Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice Latte.

21. Ask for a pledge ride across the arena.

22. Try to make things “Facebook Official” with another tribute to ensure an alliance.

23. Survive by any means necessary because Liam Hemsworth is anxiously waiting for her return.

Image via MTV

***

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at lucy@grandex.co.

More From Lucky Jo »

Comments

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.

Click to Read Comments (6)