23 Things I’m Actually Thankful For This Holiday Season


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This Thursday, we’ll all sit around the table with our families and share the things that we’re most thankful for. Some of the things that we say will be true. But some of the things we’re most thankful for are things we might not necessarily want to say in front of Grandma. Still, that doesn’t mean we can appreciate what keep us going, each and every year.

  1. I’m thankful for this special time that I get to spend with my family.
  2. The family that made all of this awesome food that I can eat as much of as I want for free.
  3. And I’m thankful that I’ll get to go shopping for a brand new wardrobe (one size up) after eating all of it.
  4. I’m thankful turkey doesn’t have carbs, which totally makes dinner healthy. Right?
  5. I’m thankful to be home with my siblings.
  6. Basically so that I can coerce them into taking the perfect fall photo of me for maximum Instagram likes.
  7. I’m thankful my parents haven’t asked me why they don’t have grandkids yet.
  8. Just kidding. That one happened.
  9. I’m thankful I decided to wear leggings to this meal instead of jeans.
  10. I get to see my dog. That’s honestly all that matters.
  11. I’m thankful I still have my Daddy’s credit card for “emergencies.”
  12. And I’m especially thankful that he thinks a $349 trip to Target was an emergency.
  13. I’m thankful that my fleece vests hide an extra five pounds.
  14. And that I can finally stop pretending that I want to order PSLs and can peacefully move on to skinny peppermint mochas while retaining my status as a basic.
  15. I’m really, really thankful that Plan B pill actually worked.
  16. And I’m thankful I didn’t have to pay for it.
  17. I’m thankful my ex still hasn’t changed his Netflix password.
  18. And for wine. Lots of wine.
  19. I’m thankful that it’s almost Christmas.
  20. Which means presents. Yeah, I’m thankful that it’s almost time to get presents. Whatever.
  21. I’m thankful that my hometown hookup is single this holiday season.
  22. I’m thankful for the health of my family and friends.
  23. And most of all, I’m thankful that my hometown bar is open tonight.
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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