As much as we want the male species to think we are precious little angels that always smell like shampoo, we all know that’s not true.
- Look actually disgusting when first we wake up.
- Like try to hide that your hair isn’t clip-in extensions.
- And your slept-on, clumped fake lashes are definitely natural.
- Tell our friends everything.
- Think “what are we?” even though we ~totally~ don’t care.
- Act super chill when we’re really checking up on your social media all the time.
- Have weird white stained underwear. We can’t help it.
- And own period panties.
- And maybe even a go-to pair of period pants.
- Think about marriage and kids just a little too soon.
- Downplay how little we wash our hair.
- Pretend we aren’t as hairy as we really are.
- But feel euphoric when that chin hair finally gets plucked.
- Over-analyze every detail of every conversation we have with guys.
- Smell ourselves.
- Then spray perfume in every smelly crevice.
- Feel a little insane when we don’t have his complete, undivided attention.
- …and fart.
- Wait until there’s just the right amount of crumbs in the bed before washing the sheets.
- Stick our hair on the shower wall and swirl it around.
- Take an ungodly amount of time getting ready.
- Pretend that second day makeup is “no makeup.”
- And that we just “threw on” this outfit.
We are truly disgusting. It’s great..
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