25 Reasons My Boyfriend Should Break Up With Me

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Nice Move

25 reasons my boyfriend should break up with me.

1. I forgot to use my anti-aging cream twice this week.

2. I invest more time in planning my wedding on Pinterest than I do in my actual relationship.

3. The BJs stopped as soon as I got the “girlfriend” title, officially.

4. I refuse to watch any type of sporting event, but you better believe his DVR is full of Real Housewives marathons.

5. I may or may not fake it so he’ll leave me alone…often.

6. On occasion, I’ll get drunk and call him 31 times in a row.

7. Unless he’s telling me how pretty I am, I can’t care about what he’s saying.

8. I send the police to his house if he ignores my phone calls for longer than an hour.

9. I forgot to ask for “no croutons” on my salad the other day at lunch, and I ate them.

10. I threaten to Facebook message his mom every time he pisses me off.

11. I have an emotional breakdown at least twice a week and make him deal with it.

12. If he gets me a gift I don’t like, I have no problem telling him “this isn’t the one I wanted.”

13. I’ve said, “is it in yet?” Out loud. It was.

14. I ask if I look skinny, then get mad when he says “yes,” because he’s only saying it because I made him.

15. I campaigned to make it “Facebook official” only to deny his request and remain “in an open relationship” with my best friend. Joke’s on him, he’s still “in a relationship.”

16. I’m the exact opposite of a cheap date.

17. Since dating me, he’s had to completely eradicate the word “no” from his vocabulary.

18. I made him turn off the big game so I could watch a Lifetime movie.

19. I created a dream board full of pictures of Jodi Arias, “as a warning.”

20. I’ve stolen every fraternity shirt he owns without asking, and refuse to give them back. What’s mine is mine and what’s his is ours.

21. I complain if I have to do anything involving his friends or family, but he has no choice when I need him to attend a gathering with me.

22. I “accidentally” send him pictures of engagement rings on the reg.

23. Once we’d been dating for two weeks, I told him I wanted to marry him and have his babies.

24. I throw a massive bitch fit if there’s the slightest chance I won’t get my way.

25. I actually think I’m clinically insane, which means he’s probably an idiot for sticking around.

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