Columns

25 Superlatives Every Formal Should Include

c869cd8bc7163a2ab097c385d8f67a40

Everyone loves to win. Doesn’t matter what it is, winning is the best feeling in the world. That’s why superlatives are the best part of formal. We get to celebrate as well as mock the sisters that we love so dearly and the antics they have gotten themselves into over the past year. In a perfect world, all of these superlatives would be awarded at your formal:

  1. Most Likely To Kiss And Tell
    Awarded to the sister who always has a crazy hookup story.
  2. The Starfish Award
    Awarded to the sister who you can tell would be terrible at sex (they would just lay there like a starfish).
  3. Most Likely To Cry At A Party
    Awarded to the sister who turns on the water works every time she turns up.
  4. The Hidden Treasure Chest Award
    Awarded to the sister with the most underrated rack.
  5. The Human Seagull Award
    Awarded to the sister who is most likely to be heard before seen and to steal food right out of your hands.
  6. The Golden Retriever Award
    Awarded to the sister who is fun, loyal, sweet, and a little bit spacey.
  7. Most Likely To Have A Threesome
    Awarded to the two sisters who have a wild side and little bit too much sexual tension to go unnoticed.
  8. The Mother Hen Award
    Awarded to the sister who knows how to cook, takes care of you when you are sick (read: drunk), and is always wearing J. Crew.
  9. Selfie Queen
    Awarded to the sister who has made taking pictures of her dumb face a hobby.
  10. The “Like” Award
    Awarded to the sister who can’t articulate a coherent sentence without peppering “like” in after every word.
  11. The Virgin Mary Award
    Awarded to the sister who is innocent on the outside but a total freak on the inside.
  12. Most Likely To Date A Convict
    Awarded to the sister with the worst taste in men.
  13. The Black Sheep Award
    Awarded to the sister who just does NOT fit in.
  14. Most Likely To Become A Nun
    Awarded to the sister who is most conservative and disgusted by all things fun.
  15. The Raincloud Award
    Awarded to the sister who always know how to bring you down.
  16. The Drunk Uncle Award
    Awarded to the sister who belches loud and proud, drinks more alcohol than water, is known to tell off-color jokes, and has the body of Danny Devito.
  17. Most Likely To Become A Lawyer
    Awarded to the sister who has opinions and is not afraid to get in your face if you disagree.
  18. The Red Starbucks Cup Award
    Awarded to the sister who ends up being offensive without even trying.
  19. The Ringleader Award
    Awarded to the sister whose life is a three ring shit show.
  20. The Rhonda Rousey Award
    Awarded to the sister who can take a punch and would be the first to throw one.
  21. Most Likely To Have Her Eyebrows On Fleek
    Awarded to the sister who should start doing makeup tutorials because DAMN, that brow game is strong.
  22. The Kim Kardashian Award
    Awarded to the sister who is most likely to have a sex tape or nudes that go viral.
  23. The Blacked Out And Brilliant Award
    Awarded to the sister who goes out the day before the tests and still aces them.
  24. The Teacher’s Pet Award
    Awarded to the sister who is most likely to hook up with a professor.
  25. The Superlative Award
    Awarded to the sister who wouldn’t stop bitching if she didn’t win an award.

Which one would you win?

Email this to a friend

Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

3 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More