26 Things Scream Queens Got Right About Sorority Life


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Nice Move

Scream Queens

  1. The hot ones are always gay.
  2. ‘Waterfalls’ is our jam too.
  3. Chad is definitely sleeping around.
  4. We do actually order our PSLs with that degree of specificity.
  5. Anything bad that happens to anyone else actually does affect us personally and you cannot take away our right to Facebook about it for likes.
  6. We do think Halloween is the most important day of the year.
  7. And we love our group costumes.
  8. If you think Chanel seems crazy, you haven’t seen us when it’s three days before formal deadline and we don’t have a date.
  9. We really do like throwing events for philanthropy. Just…not the same philanthropies.
  10. Officer elections ARE that dramatic.
  11. Ok, yes, we call each other whores. But it’s a term of endearment! Pinky swear.
  12. We did join a sorority to find a hot, rich husband.
  13. Night of a Thousand Compliments actually does sound like the best date ever.
  14. Everyone hates the president.
  15. Yes, we steal each other’s clothes. If having 83 new closets isn’t a reason to pledge, I don’t know what is.
  16. Being skinny, rich, and pretty are huge pluses to receiving a bid.
  17. Our families are that insane at Thanksgiving.
  18. There’s a strong chance we’d at least consider getting knocked up to get invited to our boyfriends’ family holidays.
  19. We LOVE Black Friday.
  20. We actually are worried that the Greek system will become obsolete because of our portrayal in the media.
  21. And we’re also committed to doing everything we can to change Greek life for the better to ensure that our traditions continue forever.
  22. We’re absolutely insane.
  23. Yeah, ok, we’re all sisters, but there’s definitely an inner clique.
  24. We love our dads. In spite of how embarrassing and awkward they are, we love our dads.
  25. We’re a size zero. Ok, yeah, maybe we’re a size four, but as far as anyone else is concerned, we’re a size zero.
  26. No matter what insane things we do to piss each other off, at the end of the day, sisterhood is everything.
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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