26 Ways Guys Can Totally Tell That You’re A Crazy Bitch


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In high school I was a crazy girl. Like, a *crazy* girl. Not just like, I-would-make-my-high-school-boyfriend-come-to-family-events-and-get mad-at-him-if-he-talked-to-my-girl-cousins crazy. Like, I had his passwords, phone records, the milage on his car, made him delete every girl on social media, read his text messages, literally kept his balls in a mason jar (okay, not literally) crazy. It was bad. Anyway, I grew up and grew out of most of my crazy (and learned to hide the rest) and now I can sit back and appreciate just how insane we can be in relationships.

Recently guys from all over said how they knew a girl was psycho. I’m not saying they’re right. I’m just saying it’s what they think. Sometimes the truth hurts. The answers are from Reddit and the responses are from me, because I just couldn’t let these guys have the final say.

  1. If they say nasty or manipulative things; example if she starts talking shit about you looking at another girl and says “no I’m just playing” If she does that a lot; says mean shit but says JK; she might not just be kidding.
    But don’t look at other girls. Ever. Lol, jk, jk. 
  2. If they start “testing” your love for them.
    If he loved me, this wouldn’t be a problem! 
  3. Extreme jealousy. We all have some jealousy here and there but when they are incredibly jealous all of the time, even with the most petty of things, this is a sign.
    This one makes sense. Even though I don’t get why he has to talk to girls in his class. Or at the coffee shop. Or to that woman who gave birth to him. Like, come on dude. 
  4. If she “accidentally” stabs you during sex, she might be a psycho.
    Ugh, I hate when this happens. 
  5. When she complains that you are spending too much time with your dog, and then she accidentally runs away a week later.
    What can I say? She was a bitch. 
  6. She gets jealous of any woman who is by you, even if they’re family.
    I’m sorry your cousin is hot? If she was ugly this wouldn’t be a problem. Maybe. 
  7. If she’s very controlling and possessive. Also, if she won’t allow you to have female friends…Typically not a good sign.
    You can have female friends. As long as they aren’t prettier than me. Or funnier than me. Or richer than me. Or actually exist. 
  8. If she has the crazy eyes.
    They’re the windows to my soul. 
  9. She reads your private messages from way before you two started dating and uses them as an outlet or excuse for fights.
    Yeah yeah. But seriously, this Megan from tenth grade sounds like a total skank.
  10. Baby talk. If she does the baby talk, run away!
    I only talk like a baby because I want to make a baby with you! Wait! Come back! 
  11. If she makes you delete female friends from your Facebook.
    If they have vaginas, they’re not friends.
  12. If she openly wants to fight with you because “that’s just how relationships work.”
    How else are we supposed to have makeup sex? 
  13. If she loves horses.
    Clip clop mother fuckers. 
  14. Ask her if she has ever been engaged, and if so how many times… If the answer is more than 10, she is exponentially insane.
    If it’s more than 10, she’s just bragging. And also, tell her to call me — I could use some tips. 
  15. Is obtusely concerned with who you’re texting or where you’re going.
    But like, *why* do you keep checking your phone?
  16. If she finds me attractive.
    Who let my ex in here?!
  17. Needs constant attention and reaffirmation.
    All I want is all of your attention, all of the time. Is that so much to ask?
  18. You’re back at her place, and things are getting hot and heavy. She stands up and with a sly smile she says, “Let me go slip into something a little more comfortable!” A few minutes later, she returns wearing your ex’s skin.
    Whatever. No one is perfect. 
  19. When she demands your password.
    But really. Why do you *need* privacy? What are you hiding?
  20. Constantly depending on you for everything like you’re their oxygen to breathe.
  21. She makes passive aggressive remarks towards you.
    Nooooo it’s fine. I don’t even care. 
  22. They have very few to no constants in their life, especially when it comes to people. Friends can’t put up with them or there are recurring fights/issues, so they leave or get cut off — and the psycho will always blame them and take no responsibility for any of it.
    Are you talking about Stacey? I know she’s my best friend but seriously. Sometimes she’s just such a bitch.
  23. “I really hate drama” comes out of her mouth on the first date.
    But really. I haaaaaate drama. 
  24. Crying about everything. Especially when remembering swans can be gay.
    It’s just *sob* so *sob* nice *sob.*
  25. She doesn’t get the feeling to yawn when you start yawning.
    Okay. Yeah. That shit is crazy. 
  26. She’s dating me.
    This guy knows. 

You know, maybe we are a little crazy. Whatever. They like it.

[via Reddit]

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(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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