1. People who “don’t need to drink to have fun.”
2. Waitresses who eye fuck your date.
3. Your mom, when you’re single around any major holidays.
4. Teachers who expect you to “take advantage” of their office hours.
5. That one friend who always posts pictures that you look terrible in.
6. People who send you the same Snapchats they added to their story.
7. Your friend who always asks to borrow your phone charger.
8. The Chipotle employee who informs you that they are out of guac.
9. Your landlord.
10. Anyone you owe money, for that matter.
11. People who show up to your BYOB pregame, and then drink all of your alcohol.
12. Your boss who won’t stop giving you shit for coming into work hungover.
13. DJs who don’t take your musical suggestions to heart.
14. Friends who return clothes without washing them first.
15. Everyone employed by the DMV.
16. Your big when she starts giving you really smart advice that you don’t want to hear.
17. The kid in your chem class who keeps hitting you up and asking you to “study.”
18. People who are able to wear white clothing without spilling on themselves.
19. Bartenders who load up your cup 3/4 full of ice, and then charge you $9 for a Long Island.
20. The Starbucks barista who forgot that extra shot of espresso.
21. Friends who ignore your texts and then post pictures to Instagram.
22. Your recruitment chair, because quite frankly you’ve heard enough from that bitch.
23. Your boyfriend, pretty much all of the time.
24. Donald Trump.
25. People who don’t eat gluten, and go out of their way to tell you all about it.
26. Everyone you’ve ever been paired with for a group project.
27. People who still send you game invites on Facebook because they don’t know it’s 2016.
28. Standards.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].

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