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28 Reasons You Suck At Instagram

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  1. You appreciate food too much to take pictures of it before you dig in.
  2. …or you’re just a heathen and can’t resist the urge to attack your meal the second it arrives.
  3. You and your boyfriend are actual shitshows and don’t partake in cute, picture-worthy activities.
  4. You got too drunk to remember that you wanted to get pictures that night.
  5. You’ve never met a celebrity.
  6. All of your motivational quotes contain profanity and come from reality TV.
  7. Your room is constantly messy, and thus provides a terrible backdrop.
  8. You used up all your phone’s storage because you won’t stop saving pictures of dogs online.
  9. You do a bunch of hoodrat shit that probably shouldn’t be documented.
  10. You’re too awkward to ask strangers to take pictures of you.
  11. You’re too awkward in general, and those pictures would probably reflect that.
  12. You’re not enough of a douche to take a gym selfie.
  13. Your phone is always dead.
  14. You won’t stop posting pictures of your dog because you refuse to accept the fact that not everyone thinks she’s as cute as you do.
  15. You don’t have a boyfriend that looks like a well dressed Hemsworth/Franco hybrid.
  16. You’re lowkey tryna stay off the grid. Just as a precaution, for all the illegal shit you do on a daily basis.
  17. You don’t always get around to putting on makeup before exiting the house.
  18. You don’t like your friend’s pictures as often as you should, so they’re boycotting the double tap.
  19. Your no makeup selfie looked fucking terrible. Brave, but terrible.
  20. Your halloween costume was just a little bit offensive.
  21. You pretty much stopped trying after you abandoned hope for one day hitting triple digit likes.
  22. Your pictures are all super dark, in an attempt to cover up how shitfaced you are.
  23. You’re too busy being your friend’s personal photographer to address your own Insta needs.
  24. Your throwback thursday always depict you and your slutty high school friends as plastered 16-year-olds.
  25. Standards makes you take all the good posts down.
  26. Your friends are all fucking gorgeous and you wind up looking like a gremlin in comparison.
  27. You’re too busy basking in the perfect weather of that exotic, once in a lifetime Spring Break location to be snapping pics of the locals all day long.
  28. You just really, really don’t give a shit.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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