- Stealing literally all of his t-shirts and never giving them back.
You earned it and you’re keeping it. - Going out in hopes of seeing that guy you used to hook up with but refusing to acknowledge his presence.
You want him to notice you not noticing him. - Telling your boyfriend you don’t want a side of fries, then eating all of his.
If you didn’t order the fries, the calories don’t count. #FitFam - Telling your boyfriend you’ll be ready in fifteen when you know it’s going to take you at least thirty to do your hair.
If you tell him the real amount of time it’s going to take, he’ll be mad. - Making someone take thirty pictures of you and your little at formal.
“Sorry, can you take one more?” - Giving your friends relationship advice when the longest lasting relationship you’ve had is with the pizza delivery guy.
He’s been bringing you food every Friday night since freshman year — that’s basically a relationship. - Texting a guy all night and then conveniently falling asleep when he asks you to come over.
You don’t feel like having sex tonight and the attention is better than an orgasm. - Calling any girl you hate a slut.
She’s not REALLY a slut; she’s just talking to the guy you like, which makes her a slut. - Flirting with a random when you have a boyfriend.
You would never actually cheat… right? - Flirting with a guy who has a girlfriend.
You’re just testing him. She should thank you for keeping him in line (unless you actually hook up with him, in which case he failed the test). - Swearing you’re “so done with him,” and then continuing to hook up with him.
You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means. - Making out with a guy at your ex’s fraternity house just to make him jealous.
Bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off for you. - Telling the guy you’re hooking up with that you’re totally cool with taking things slow and seeing where it goes when in reality you’re actually not cool with it at all.
You want him to date you. He doesn’t want to date you. What are you doing? - “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” more often than you keep up with your own family.
When’s the last time you called your mother? A week ago? - Bitching about being single literally all of the time.
That’s what vibrators are for. - Bitching about your body and/or wanting to lose weight.
That’s what group fitness classes are for. - Talking shit about your friend behind her back because you don’t like confrontation.
Just let it all out. - Telling your friend when other girls are talking shit about her because you love drama.
You can’t help it, it’s just such a rush! - Complaining about how all decent guys are either taken or gay.
No, they’re in the friend zone where you left them. - Refusing to give a blow job but getting upset when he doesn’t go down on you.
Tit for tat. - Hooking up with your friend’s ex-whatever because you know it wasn’t that serious and maybe she’ll never find out.
Word spreads fast in college and even faster in Greek life. She’ll find out. - Getting drunk and forgoing any and all responsibilities for the day because you just can’t deal.
So what if you have a paper due tomorrow? - Asking your friend to look at your ex’s Snapchat story because you want to see what he’s up to but you don’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing you know what he’s doing.
Do guys even pay attention to that kind of stuff? No. - Guilt-tripping your parents into giving you money because you spent it all on makeup and alcohol.
Sorry, Mom and Dad. You’ll try to be more responsible next month. - Saying you hate sluts while also living the slut life yourself.
You don’t hate her because she’s a slut, you hate her because she’s a BETTER slut. - Taking relationship advice from fictional TV shows and applying it to your life.
Carrie and Big are not relationship goals. Neither are Chuck and Blair. - Falling for a bad boy and getting pissed when he does something bad.
The player ended up playing you? Shocker. - Being “that girl” on Snapchat.
Singing along to songs on the radio, using the dog filter on any and all selfies, and snapping literally everything that happens when you go out. You know it’s annoying but you just. Can’t. Stop. - Telling your friends on Monday that this is the week you’re going to get your shit together when you know damn well that come Friday, your life will still be in shambles.
It’s the thought that counts, right?.
Nice Move363
Respond
Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: [email protected] (not .com).
@crismontyy
@crismontyy
cristinamonty
