Columns

31 Ways You Most Definitely Embarrassed Yourself This Weekend

31 Ways You Most Definitely Embarrassed Yourself This Weekend

  1. You thought it was totally okay to do eleven shots at the pre-game.
  2. And then subsequently decided it was acceptable to sleep in the bathtub.
  3. You woke up with your wallet — but not your fake ID or any of your credit cards.
  4. Thirteen missed calls from your mom.
  5. Followed by the “Have you seen your bank account balance? We need to talk.” text from her.
  6. Guess who ate an entire pizza on Friday at 2am? You did.
  7. Oh. And you did it in front of an entire fraternity, while blaring Taylor Swift on your phone and crying.
  8. You tried to fix a broken heel with chewed gum you found underneath the bar.
  9. “Hi (insert ex boyfriend’s name). I still love you. Call me backkkkkkkkk.”
  10. Going to Target in sweatpants and greasy hair seemed like a perfectly acceptable idea.
  11. That is, until you saw said ex boyfriend and he asked why you called him thirty two times.
  12. You cried in public.
  13. Like, standing on top of a table in a crowded bar public.
  14. “I think I lost my fake ID at the last bar. I’ll give you this coupon for a free Subway sub if you just let me in.”
  15. You spent time in the drunk tank.
  16. Good news, though: you totally made a new best friend while you were in there.
  17. Passive aggressive drunk tweets.
  18. You got in a blowout fight with your best friend over who drank the last shot of vodka.
  19. You over-drafted your bank account at Taco Bell.
  20. The cab driver told you that you were by far the worst person to ever enter his car.
  21. Guess who drunkenly emailed her professor and asked for an extension on that paper due Monday because you “hasd a fAMeily EMERgencyie.”
  22. Oh, right. That was you.
  23. You’ve thrown up so many times that your throat actually hurts.
  24. The guy at the gas station took one look at you in sunglasses, buying Advil, Gatorade, and tampons and just laughed.
  25. The pre-game was simply too much for you.
  26. Meaning that you woke up on the couch at 3am when everyone was returning from the bars.
  27. Your stupid ass didn’t even make it out. Way to go.
  28. You deleted your texts because it just seemed like the best option.
  29. Your home legitimately looks like a bomb went off.
  30. Because drunk you is essentially just a tornado whose favorite activity is ruining the bedroom you spent hours cleaning earlier that day.
  31. You’re reading this in bed.
Nice Move440
Respond

Email this to a friend

Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: [email protected]

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More