32 Signs A Fraternity Sucks

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32 Signs A Fraternity Sucks

Don’t you just, like, love your favorite fraternity? Like, how they’re so hot, nice, hot, throw amazing parties, and how most of their beds have been occupied by you? Those boys are basically your bothers. You’re cheering them on during games, you bake a disgusting amount of treats for them, and they don’t make you pay for their questionable Jungle Juice. All other fraternities are basically irrelevant. Basically, except for the one you can’t stand. Yeah, those guys suck.

  1. They’re paired with a bottom tier sorority and complain about it. A lot.
  2. They even refer to those girls by their nickname… You know, the name they really prefer not to be called.
  3. They put zero effort into Greek Week.
  4. But they put all the effort into being a frat star.
  5. Like, they do realize Greek Week is frat… right?
  6. Their themes are literally just to get girls half naked.
  7. Which, like, duh. But they don’t even try to be creative about it.
  8. They’ve publicly destroyed coolers that have been slaved over.
  9. Drug use isn’t recreational anymore.
  10. You slept with one, and it went exactly how you’d expect.
  11. But according to all of his brothers, you had the time of your life.
  12. They have lost all chill when it comes to their pledges.
  13. When was the last time they were able to drink without fighting? Ever?
  14. We all show up buzzed, they show up blacked.
  15. They cat call the poor freshmen girls walking down Greek Row for recruitment.
  16. Like, seriously, recruitment is hard enough without getting skeezed on.
  17. They say things like “slampiece” and “butt stuff” and they’re serious.
  18. “You’re ugly anyway” to every single girl that rejects one of them.
  19. Or, worse, they use way too obvious of lines when you don’t reject them.
  20. No, I’m not prettier than Kate Hudson. Any girl that believes that bullshit is an idiot.
  21. They reported another fraternity for hazing.
  22. But not because they were worried for the pledges, they did it because they wanted to thin out the competition.
  23. They actually denied girls access to their party for not being pretty enough.
  24. But they didn’t say “sorry, we’re at capacity” they said “we only let in hot girls.”
  25. They talk constant shit on the top tier fraternities, and take it as a victories when the other fraternities don’t care enough to fight back.
  26. They don’t have a fraternity rivalry, they’re just assholes to everyone.
  27. They’re way too defensive about their reputation.
  28. “Upstairs is a no shirt zone.”
  29. It’s typical to expect a standing ovation while leaving the house in morning, but they continue it by following you out into the street.
  30. “Do you know who my dad is?”
  31. They do that stupid Wolf of Wall Street chest bump thing wayyyy too often.
  32. One of them insulted your little one time. So clearly, you hate them forever.
Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com

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