Columns

32 Thoughts You Have The Day After A Blackout

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  1. Do I even want to open my eyes right now?
  2. Hallelujah I woke up in a familiar setting.
  3. Oh no, I don’t remember how I left last night.
  4. What’s the last part of the night I remember?
  5. WATERRRRRR.
  6. Welp. Should probably check my texts to see what damage was done.
  7. Only one drunken text trying to find the squad. Blessed.
  8. Six outgoing calls. Great.
  9. A 15-minute call?!?!?!
  10. Maybe Snapchat can help me piece together what I don’t remember.
  11. SO. MANY. SELFIES.
  12. Who even is that?
  13. *remembers drunken conversation* Yup. I’m the worst.
  14. Maybe just maybe they won’t remember our talk.
  15. Was I the drunkest person out?
  16. No, I’m sure everyone was just as drunk as I was.
  17. RIGHT?!?!
  18. Aaaand I’m still drunk.
  19. Okay. Where’s my purse?
  20. ID? Check.
  21. Credit card? Check.
  22. How did this even happen?
  23. I only had like, three shots.
  24. And maybe one mixed drink.
  25. Oh wait. Nope. Forgot about those shots.
  26. Is this what death feels like?
  27. I’m never drinking again.
  28. At least I didn’t puke.
  29. Did I puke last night?
  30. What time is it?
  31. This taste in my mouth. Good God.
  32. I need brunch and I need it now.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: rpage@grandex.co

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