34 Reasons Easter Is The Srattiest Holiday


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  1. If you’re not wearing pastel colors, it’s like you don’t even care about Easter.
  2. Unless you’re wearing white. #Purity.
  3. And classy sundresses that make our spring break tans look extra dark? Yeah. Those are the staple.
  4. Flowers are just a given.
  5. So is candy.
  6. And some guy giving them to us when we wake up at his house from the night before with only an hour to spare before mass is not only normal, it’s expected.
  7. Jesus rose from the dead, you rose from your hangover.
  8. Hats.
  9. We wake up on Sunday and pretend that all of the debauchery that went down the past two days just didn’t happen.
  10. Dyeing eggs is pretty much a requirement.
  11. And dyeing eggs? Yeah. That’s crafty AF.
  12. And you know what else is crafty AF? Us.
  13. So, naturally, our eggs always look the best (thanks littles, Bid Day, formal coolers, recruitment, graduations, senior farewells, and initiation for the practice), just like we always look the best.
  14. Bonus points if you throw some glitter on them.
  15. Basically anything you put on Instagram will get hella likes.
  16. Because everything is soft colored, very spring, and contrasts your body shot pictures from spring break nicely.
  17. And Easter being right after spring break? It’s pretty fitting considering we get wasted on Saturday with our standards chair, and then show up for chapter on Sunday to have her announce to the chapter that she’s disappointed in how everyone behaved at the social.
  18. You know. This coming from the girl who hooked up in the boy’s bathroom wth her date.
  19. Brunch. I think it’s in the new testament that you have to go to brunch on Easter.
  20. And yes, it will be one with bottomless mimosas and bellinis, thank you very much.
  21. Plus, your mom gets just as tipsy as you do, which makes for a fantastic snap story.
  22. Uh. Presents? Despite being old, your parents still spoil you like you’re a new member kid.
  23. And waking up to a basket filled with goodies never gets old, no matter who’s giving it to you.
  24. You judge literally everyone based on their outfits.
  25. It’s pretty much the ultimate Sunday Funday.
  26. And day drinking is not only an option, but it’s a requirement.
  27. Calories don’t count. Seriously. It’s in a hymn I think.
  28. “Carbs and cookies don’t count todayyyy, Alleluia.”
  29. We’re well trained in Easter egg hunting after finding “borrowed” clothes around the house, text messages between a guy and his ex, and spotting the hottie from across the bar.
  30. Heels, pearls, and bleached smiles are all an Easter Sunday staple.
  31. And you know how to fly under the radar of your parents, the priest, and God when you show up still drunk from last night.
  32. Thanks, standards for the lesson in being discrete.
  33. Drinking wine is pretty much part of your religion, so like, cheers?
  34. And no matter what, you never get too old to wear a pretty dress, get doted on by family and friends, and fall asleep in a sugar coma, fearing what Monday will have in store for you.

Hoppy Easter, bitches.

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(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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