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34 Thoughts I Have While Waiting for Tonight’s Bachelorette

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  1. Thank God, my bracket is still in tact for a few more hours.
  2. Last night’s episode was crazy.
  3. What was with the turtlenecks?
  4. Does JoJo realize she’s in LA where it’s literally always warm and sunny?
  5. I hope I bought enough wine for tonight’s episode.
  6. ABC really threw me off my wine schedule with this two-night event. Not complaining.
  7. The liquor store down the street has ABC to thank for my increased business this week.
  8. Tonight’s episode is going to be so great.
  9. I wonder if Chad will remember that you’re not supposed to go swimming until 30 minutes after you eat.
  10. He better not sit by the pool and eat meat the whole time.
  11. Honestly, so gross.
  12. Speaking of food, those doughnut pool floats.
  13. YAY POOL PARTY!
  14. JoJo is going to look flawless. I’ve already accepted it.
  15. From the looks of the preview, James Taylor gets hurt. #SaveJamesTaylor
  16. If James Taylor wasn’t so cute, I would think he was trying to launch a singing career through the show.
  17. I wish my boyfriend would write me a song.
  18. Only a few hours until Chris Harrison graces my screen again.
  19. I hope Chad doesn’t punch Chris tonight, although that would make for some great TV.
  20. ABC better not let us down after these fantastic previews.
  21. I wonder if Evan is going to go home tonight after his crazy ultimatum stunt he pulled last night.
  22. I honestly think he’s gay.
  23. Open your eyes JoJo.
  24. I forgot about irrelevant Derek this week until he proved how lame he was by moving out of Chad’s room.
  25. THERE IS A SECURITY GUARD, honestly, what does he have to worry about?
  26. BE A MAN, DEREK.
  27. Speaking of irrelevant, Robby graced my screen last night.
  28. I want to be JoJo’s love advisor. I have so many opinions to give her.
  29. I’m just tryna hang out with her. She’s a queen.
  30. JoJo has some tough decisions to make after this pool party.
  31. Can we take a moment to acknowledge how smart JoJo is?
  32. Planning an event to see all of the guys shirtless? I’ll say it again for the girls in the back: SHE’S. A. QUEEN.
  33. I’m literally so excited for this episode.
  34. Is it 8pm yet???

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