Home » Columns » A College Freshman Explains Recruitment To Her Younger Sister
Thanks to her being the best wingman of all eternity, you’ll be able to pick and choose whichever guy(s) you want for the night.
There will be enough hugging to make Barney jealous.
Pictures will be taken every single place you go, including bathrooms because you are “those” chicks.
You’ll catch up on every aspect of each other’s lives.
Both of you will think you are superstars when you sing karaoke.
And the songs you’ll sing karaoke to will be “Single Ladies,” “Wannabe,” or “Buttons.”
Someone will drunkenly face plant.
The two of you will eat out for every meal.
And probably go to some foreign place only one of you has been to.
You will end up on a roof some way or another.
One of you will end up flirting with a cop to get out of a scandal.
And then this policeman will drive you in his cop car so you don’t need to take Uber wherever you are headed.
And of course you can’t forget to take a picture with this nice officer.
People will assume you are talking in tongues because the way you speak to each other is so confusing. Only you two understand it.
A bed, shower, door, or other home necessity will get broken.
You will update each other on new hair and makeup tricks.
The two of you will get so lost that even Siri will give up.
One bartender will be added as a Snapchat friend.
Another bartender will take a shot with both of you.
And yet another bartender will justify one of your actions when your friend disapproves.
Someone will end up in a tattoo parlor.
And possibly a hospital.
You’ll drink hard liquor instead of wine.
When you aren’t doing anything, you’ll find comfort in lounging around watching a dorky movie in sweats.
Somehow both of you suddenly become big ballers and blow money as if there’s no tomorrow and you just won the lotto.
You’ll ask each other strange questions that both of you are too scared to ask other people. This is the girl that you know won’t judge you.
Both of you will end up dancing on a stage.
You’ll lose the clothes you lend her.
But that’s okay because you’ll get a new wardrobe with all of the clothes you “borrowed” too.
Strangers will buy the both of you four too many shots.
Someone will puke in a restroom at a bar.
You’ll laugh at the most immature shit that you normally wouldn’t find funny with anyone else.
There will be inappropriate cheers for every new drink. “Cheers to you. Cheers to me. Cheers to all the guys that lick us where we pee.”
Someone will flash strangers their ta-tas.
There will be a ridiculous number of jam sessions.
You’ll share embarrassing stories that have happened since the last time you saw each other.
The amount of shit-talking other people will be endless.
When you roll out of bed after shacking, you text her to see if she’s ready to leave because she’s down the hall in the roommate’s bed.
Popular on TSM