1. She was my Rush Crush.
2. She is the Rachel to my Monica, the Serena to my Blair, the Lisa Vanderpump to my Brandi Glanville.
3. She is mine.
4. She gets drunk with me at noon on a Wednesday.
5. She’ll never love her own little as much as she loves me.
6. We share clothes.
7. We share gossip.
8. We share sisters.
9. We do not share boys.
10. She looks like me, and talks like me, and acts like me. It’s like having a little baby you can drink with.
11. She will sit on the couch with me and watch seven straight hours of SVU.
12. She thinks I’m perfect. And tells me so every day.
13. She doesn’t know when to stop drinking. Like little, like big.
14. She blacks out and makes bad decisions. Like little, like big.
15. She cuddles with me and plays with my hair.
16. She’s as bad at relationships as I am.
17. She brings me soup when I’m sick and vodka when I’m sad.
18. She can do an impressive keg stand.
19. She’ll both embarrass me and make me cry during her speech at my wedding.
20. Together, we close down the bars.
21. She’d be my one phone call if I ever ended up in jail.
22. Actually, nevermind. She’d probably be in there with me.
23. She lets me borrow her Adderall.
24. She got kicked out of a fraternity house with me.
25. She doesn’t think it’s weird to drink during finals week.
26. She shares my letters and my heart.
27. She’s been drunk in the library.
28. Standards hates her as much as they hate me.
29. She never makes me second guess myself.
30. She won’t let me call that ex-boyfriend.
31. She agrees with me 100% of the time…even when I’m wrong.
32. Forget the haters. Two wrongs do absolutely make a right.
33. She thinks it’s funny when I embarrass myself.
34. I think it’s funny when she does the same.
35. If she can’t fix my problem, she’ll drink with me until I forget about it.
36. She knows every single word to every single Nelly song.
37. She gets in fights with bouncers when they question her fake ID.
38. She puts people in their place. Myself excluded.
39. She is perfect. She is adorable. She is my own little princess.
Nice Move438
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Catie Warren
From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: [email protected]
@catie__warren
@catie__warren
