4 Ways Sorority Girls Are Exactly Like Disney Princesses


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Growing up watching Disney movies has given us an unrealistic outlook on life. We know that. We were encouraged to watch the films that contain so much magic and happiness and are then chastised years later for thinking any of those things could ever happen to us. There is no castle waiting for us, no spontaneous song to sing and certainly no Prince Charming.

While the adults were technically right, sorority girls have managed to find the loophole. Being a sorority girl has given us the chance to live out those childhood dreams of being princesses, if somewhat differently than we had expected. We’re more alike than people realize and there are about as many similarities as there are mimosas at Sunday brunch. If you can’t think of a single one, don’t worry, I’m going to break it down for you.

1. Prince Charming

Every Disney princess has her perfect prince. He’s charming, handsome, and knows how to treat a lady right. He’s also their ticket to royalty. Without these men, our idols wouldn’t have the opportunity to be spoiled rotten. As sorority girls, we have frat boys. They’re kind of like princes, if you count guzzling as much beer as possible and not ignoring you all night prince-like. They do offer some benefits though, like taking us to their ball-like formals, getting our first cup of jungle juice for the night, and letting us go first in the only clean bathroom in the house. None of them will ever give us a crown but hey, there’s always sweetheart.

2. The Song

Princesses have their songs, sorority girls have their chants. Both are equally fun to perform, but there is one major difference. No one bats an eye when these animated ladies break out into huge numbers. But despite the side eyes we get when we start yelling in public, we give zero fucks. Plus, it’s been proven that enough singing in public is sure to attract a mate. Prince Philip found Aurora singing in the woods to a bunch of woodland creatures and dancing with an owl dressed in a cape and what did he do? He fucking joined in. It’s only a matter of time.

3. The Animal Sidekick

Our mascots. Every sorority has one, just like every princess has her trusty animal friend. Cinderella has her mice, Rapunzel has her chameleon, Pocahontas has a raccoon and a hummingbird. I could go on, the list is literally endless. Their woodland creatures (I’m deeming the chameleon a woodland creature, get over it) give them advice on how to best go about living their lives. They help get them dressed, make sure they stay out of trouble and most of all, keep them on track to their true love. In short, they’re awesome. While our mascots do none of those things, they do provide us with cute stuffed animals and uh, that’s about it. But hey, if you wanna throw an animal servant in the dues package, I won’t complain.

4. Fairy Godmother

Whether it’s your big, your pledge mom, or just an older sister who looks out for you, every sorority girl has her very own fairy godmother. Cinderella’s granted her the chance to go to the ball and find her prince. Grandmother Willow pointed Pocahontas in John Smith’s direction. What they had was magic and magic is always the key ingredient. Although my big never waved a wand to change my skirt and top into a ball gown, booze manifesting out of thin air without me asking is pretty damn magical if you ask me.

Watch out Elsa, I’m coming for your crown.

WineFirst likes her wine white, chilled, and alone, although she's been known to share on rare occasions. In an attempt to not grow up, she procrastinates all things adult, such as not paying off her credit card bill and watching re-runs of Sex and the City. If you have any funny stories or new leads (or videos of kids falling down) e-mail her at: winefirst.asklater@gmail.com

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