Home » Columns » A College Freshman Explains Recruitment To Her Younger Sister
People will always think you’re perfect because your other siblings are.
Even though you, well, aren’t perfect.
But they don’t need to know that, do they?
Even though you aren’t perfect, you can still take advantage of your siblings’ reputations.
Like their Greek legacies.
And their school legacies.
And their reputation among their professors.
Basically, you can just coast through college relying on your family name.
You are always the life of the family parties and reunions.
And by life of the party, I mean being the drunkest cousin.
But that’s okay, because your other siblings can take care of you.
They have gotten used to your crazy ways.
Which means they’ll pick you up from the bars.
And check up on you throughout the night.
And hold your hair back while you vomit.
Because honestly, it’s easier to take care of you than to try to change your ways.
Your parents have also probably given up on trying to tame you by now.
Because they already have two or three other perfect children.
And, I mean, what’s life without a little variety?
You can essentially get away with anything because of this.
Like getting detained by the cops.
Or failing a few tests.
Because even though you may screw up, you eventually get your shit together.
Mainly because your other siblings bail you out.
You are forced to develop a charming personality to talk your way out of anything.
Which is also very convenient when trying to convince your parents to buy you a car.
Or a puppy.
Or to pay this semester’s dues.
You probably have the most fun out of anyone in the family.
So naturally, your siblings’ friends also love you.
They may even want to hook up with you.
And knowing you, you’ll probably be up for the challenge.
After all, your brother can’t stay mad at you forever, right?
Your parents’ friends are also obsessed with you.
Hell, even your grandparents like you the most.
Even if they don’t admit it.
Your aunts and uncles know that they can trash talk one another to you, too.
Because you’re the blatant bitch of the family.
But at the end of the day, your bitchy attitude and partying habits are what make you endearing.
And no matter what anyone says, your family wouldn’t trade you for the world.
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