Being tall has many benefits. Models are tall. Athletes are tall. Politicians are tall. Royalty is tall. Not everyone can be tall, which makes the tall friend very lucky. But at the same time, you have some shit that you have to deal with.

1. You are in the middle of every picture.
2. If you are in the picture at all.
3. You are usually just a floating head in the back row.
4. Borrowing clothes is not an option.
5. Especially dresses.
6. People let you know how tall you are every day as if it’s a compliment.
7. And as if you didn’t already know.
8. When your friends wear heels and you don’t, you look normal.
9. But when it’s the other way around, you closely resemble the Jolly Green Giant.
10. But you tell yourself it’s more like Heidi Klum.
11. You end up being the one who has to keep everyone together at the bar.
12. Because you are the only one who can see over the crowd.
13. You get mad when your short friends talk to tall guys.
14. It’s not fucking fair.
15. People don’t believe you when you tell them you didn’t play basketball in high school.
16. Or volleyball.
17. Going shopping with your friends is torturous.
18. “Ugh, don’t you hate when pants fit but they are too long?”
19. You literally have never had that problem.
20. “I can see your ass cheeks in those shorts.”
21. Yeah. There’s a noticeable draft.
22. “I want to get a cute romper for day drinks.”
23. Cameltoe City. Population: you.
24. “I hear monokinis are in this summer.”
25. Never gonna happen.
26. Your fake never gets questioned.
27. Even with your baby face, you’ve looked twenty-two since you had your growth spurt at fourteen.
28. But your short friends are the first to have drinks bought for them.
29. Don’t worry though, the creeps go for you.
30. Because nothing gets weirdos going like a pair of legs that are taller than a bar stool.
31. You have to sit in the front of the Uber because your legs don’t fit in the back.
32. Which also means you are in charge of directions.
33. And small talk with your new friend, Christoph.
34. Hugging your friends is basically you suffocating them with your boobs.
35. And you just naturally rest your head on top of theirs.
36. You are volunteered for Greek Week events.
37. Like spiker in volleyball (see #16).
38. And bottom row of the human pyramid.
39. And tug-of-war anchor.
40. Your little looks extra little next to you.
41. So does your big.
42. So does anyone, really.

You’re welcome for making you look adorably bite-sized, everyone else in the world. You’re welcome..

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.

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