I have done my share of fighting with my mom. As a rebellious teenager, I took everything she said with more than just a grain of salt. Every piece of advice she offered me was responded with attitude and I promptly did the exact opposite of whatever she said. Now that I’m a little bit older but not at all wiser, I have learned that I really need to start listening to this woman. Even though she drives me crazy, she also knows what she’s talking about.

1. Missing out on a fun time is more regretful than having an embarrassing moment.
2. That boy wasn’t worth the tears. Neither was that other guy.
3. If you can’t drive a stick, you can’t drive at all.
4. Broken families aren’t broken- just bigger.
5. If someone immediately refers to you as their best friend, it doesn’t mean that you are extra important to them, it just means that they have no one else. Beware.
6. The best guys have tattoos under their suits.
7. The only guys worth your time are the guys your brothers like.
8. Junk food should only be eaten as a dessert.
9. People who give you a hard time about your sexuality need to get laid.
10. Having only one group of friends is limiting.
11. It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor or a porn star — if you’re the best at what you do, you deserve to be proud of your work.
12. Always downplay how wealthy you are.
13. Blondes really do have more fun.
14. But not if their roots are showing.
15. If you’re uneducated on a subject, you shouldn’t talk unless asking a question.
16. You do not owe anyone love.
17. It is okay to burn a bridge if it will make you happier or healthier.
18. If you feel good about an insult, you definitely should not have a said it.
19. Always have the better stories, but never tell the best ones.
20. If you are actually as great as you say you are, you don’t need to prove it.
21. Don’t waste time — if you saddle up, you better ride hard.
22. Until you’re married, don’t necessarily trust him to stay around. Unless you want to raise a baby alone, wear a condom.
23. Big diamonds make dainty hands look even smaller.
24. Get in trouble. But make sure the memories are worth the consequences.
25. The best way to attend a concert is from backstage.
26. Being responsible sometimes means doing something that you shouldn’t just because it will make you happy.
27. If you are still deciding between buying groceries and wine, you can’t afford a dog.
28. A meal without vegetables is just a waste of calories.
29. The inability to hold your alcohol is infinitely more embarrassing than admitting you’re a lightweight.
30. If you can’t decide which boy you want more, you shouldn’t be with either of them.
31. It is not “your drink” if you can’t drink it without making a face.
32. You should add to everything you become a part of, but you should never let it define you.
33. If someone puts their name on the line for you, you need to make them look for good for it.
34. If you wouldn’t do it in front of your brothers, you shouldn’t do it in public at all.
35. Any company that does not care what you have on your social media is not a company you want on your resume.
36. It doesn’t matter if your family has enough money to support you fully until you die, if you do not start working as soon as you can, you have no value.
37. Enjoy your fast metabolism before you lose it.
38. But don’t enjoy it so much that you have to relearn how to eat.
39. Compliment your friends every day.
40. And accept the compliments they give you, without putting yourself down.
41. Mother knows best, even when she’s wrong.
42. And know that no matter who you become, where you go, or what you do, you are so very, very loved..

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Blue-eyed-blondie

Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at [email protected] EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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