1. Well, here goes nothing.
2. Of course he had to wear tight pants. Thanks for the challenge, asshole.
3. Thank god, boxer briefs.
4. If this had been a tighty-whitey situation, I would have had to abort.
5. Eh, not bad. Good length, decent girth.
6. Oh, hands in my hair? That’s nice.
7. Using the hands in my hair to try and choke me with your dick? Not nice.
8. Ah, here we go. A nice bobbing rhythm.
9. Maybe if I moan, he’ll think I’m into it.
10. Yuck, pube in my teeth.
11. It wouldn’t kill you to manscape, dude.
12. Sweet Jesus, he’s taking forever.
13. Am I bad at this?
14. Nah, it must be him.
15. I should have known he’d have whiskey dick when he couldn’t get his belt off.
16. I swear, if I get lock-jaw from this, I’m suing.
17. Maybe eye contact will help.
18. He looks like he’s possessed.
19. And not in a cute way, in a horror movie, gonna eat my eyeballs kind of way.
20. I wonder what I look like when I cum.
21. I hope not like that.
22. Think I can stop to pull my hair back?
23. Better not.
24. Looks like I’m gonna have to play with his balls to move this along.
25. Balls are sooooooooooooo weird.
26. Sort of like little mini boobs without nipples.
27. Stop saying you are gonna cum. Don’t get my hopes up.
28. Oh wait, you really are?
29. Decision time.
30. Swallowing doesn’t seem like a good idea on top of the tequila shots I did earlier.
31. Spitting seems kind of rude.
32. Boobs would be ok, but the last guy I let do that had bad aim.
33. It’s a miracle I’m not blind in that eye now.
34. Whoops, too late.
35. Do not throw up. Do not throw up.
36. How long do I have to lay here before I go brush my teeth?
37. One minute? Two?
38. Screw it, I have to pee.
39. If you fall asleep before I get back for my turn, I will fucking kill you.
40. Toothpaste on my finger it is.
41. I really need to start carrying a toothbrush.
42. Does that make me a slut?
43. Gargle, gargle, gargle.
44. Seriously, you’re snoring? You asshole.
45. At least move over so I can lie down.
46. If you’re think you’re getting another one of those in the morning, you’re mistaken..

Image via Shutterstock

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at [email protected].

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