49 Signs Your Ego Is Out Of Control


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Nice Move


There is nothing wrong with considering yourself the queen of sass. I might be biased because I think that statement applies directly to me, but whatever. The line between confident and cocky is one that you straddle every day, and in this case, you might fall into the side of cockiness more often than not. So what? You’re not bossy, you’re just the boss. I say embrace it. But first, you have to recognize it. Here’s how to tell if your ego is running a little wild.

  1. You read the title of this article and immediately thought of yourself.
  2. And then you smiled, because thinking of yourself makes you happy.
  3. No shame.
  4. You have an extensive tiara collection.
  5. That you have actually worn outside of your room on many occasions.
  6. Your star sign is Leo.
  7. Don’t ask me why; Leos are just a sassy bunch. It’s science.
  8. At least once, you have been voted something like Most Likely To Be Queen of the Universe.
  9. Guys love you because you know exactly what you want.
  10. And when what you want is him, you can bet he’s grateful.
  11. You’re fearless in bed.
  12. There’s literally nothing you won’t do, because you know you look good in even the most potentially awkward positions.
  13. And no guy ever has to guess if you like something or not.
  14. Because you’ll definitely let him know.
  15. The phrase “I got this” gets thrown around a lot by you.
  16. Like during heated flip cup contests. And karaoke.
  17. You love doing karaoke because all eyes are on you.
  18. Why act like you’d be embarrassed to sing “Livin’ On A Prayer” in front of your entire chapter?
  19. You live for this shit.
  20. There is a very, very good chance that you can do the splits as a party trick.
  21. And you do. Often.
  22. You also do a bomb hair flip.
  23. You’re always up for a challenge.
  24. If it involves wearing a bikini, that’s even better.
  25. Your ideal afternoon would be spent in some sort of bouncy obstacle course between you and another girl, with the winner getting a crown and sash.
  26. And you would be the winner, obviously.
  27. You’re the friend who is always saving your BFFs from the creep at the bar.
  28. Because you’re not embarrassed to go over there and start making out with her, if that’s what it takes.
  29. You’ll defend a sister to the end against anyone who’s done her wrong.
  30. Because you are fierce AF in all things, especially love.
  31. You’re the first girl invited to a frat party because you’re guaranteed to show up looking flawless.
  32. You can wink at a guy without looking stupid.
  33. You listen to more Beyoncé than anyone you know.
  34. You are always willing to help a sister out with hair/makeup/boyfriend advice, because your lack of insecurity means you genuinely want her to shine.
  35. Your biggest pet peeve is someone telling you you’re wrong when you know you’re right.
  36. Because you are.
  37. At least 99.99 percent of the time.
  38. You never say “sorry not sorry” because if you’re being honest, you’re not sorry you aren’t sorry.
  39. You’re just not sorry.
  40. You ignore emails from Standards and get away with it.
  41. It’s not that the rules don’t apply to you, it’s just that they sort of don’t.
  42. You’re pretty sure the phrase “do it for the ‘gram” was invented exclusively for you.
  43. Because you’re the first one to jump into a crazy pose for a fun photo.
  44. You’re honestly the first one to jump in front of a camera, period.
  45. Because if you’re not on the right side (your good side), you might as well not even be in it.
  46. You don’t even use FaceTune. You don’t need it, you look good in every picture.
  47. You know perfectly well that you’re sometimes a little much for people to handle.
  48. But as far as you’re concerned, you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
  49. Their loss, not yours.
My favorite things are tiaras, compliments, and free drinks, which are becoming harder to come by the more I tend to show up at the bar in sweat pants. The proudest moment of my life so far has been landing an actual, paying job that allows me to Facebook stalk people for a living. I tweet about my mom way too often, who is constantly trying to remind me that I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. Please send me funny stories to read at work here: shannon.laynee@yahoo.com

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