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5 Traits Of An Undatable Guy

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Females can withstand a lot. Birth? Bring it on. Periods? Just give me some Midol. Walking on mini stilts to make our legs look good? Sure I’ll just end up walking home barefoot. But boys? I’m gonna need a lot tequila and someone to cry on. As much as we don’t want to admit it, boys tend to be a girl’s number one weakness. There isn’t much else on this earth that can do to us what they can. We make fools of ourselves, we doubt ourselves, and we even let them get between us and our friends. Yeah, boys suck. But we absolutely love boys and thats not gonna change.

For a lot of us, there’s that one certain boy thats gotten under your skin and no matter what (or who) you do you can’t get him out. Almost always this is the boy you need to run far, far away from. But usually you end up realizing it too late. So heres how to know when he’s the guy you shouldn’t date.

1. Your Mom Doesn’t Like Him

Our Lord and savior, Justin Bieber, said it best: “My momma don’t you and she likes everyone.” It may sound cliché but anyone your mom doesn’t like is not a good person. It’s just another one of those mom superpowers they have. They can sense evil.

Once I was trying to explain to my mom what a fuckboy was and she went “Oh, like Adam?” Adam was a guy I was talking to at the time and my moms shady comment should have been enough to send me running for the hills away from Adam. So I did what any of us would do. I acted like the comment didn’t happen and continued my relationship with Adam until he slept with my best friend and I wound up running back to my mom, this time with some wine and tears.

2. He Always Knows When To Say The Right Thing

This is the worst thing about this type of guy. Because how are you supposed to find that raging hate for him within you when he says the sweetest things. It can be anything from the cutest of compliments to “I’m sorry, baby” or the classic “You’re not like any other girl I’ve met.” Yep, boys are clever.

It’s pretty messed up that these guys are such masters of manipulation over girls’ feelings. It’s like they can tell when we’re starting to wise up and realize they’re no good for us and they always manage to have those perfect words ready to reel us back in. But you’re not a fucking fish, so walk away from him.

3. He Doesn’t Take You Seriously

Anyone in the world that doesn’t take you seriously needs to be wiped from your life. But if the person who’s supposed to be your partner and companion treats you like you’re a joke it’s really time to cut your losses and go. You can see him doing this when he laughs at anything you say even if you’re not making a joke, if he cuts you off while you’re telling a story to tell his own, or when he completely disregards your ideas or opinions.

He does this because his giant, out of control ego tells him he’s so much higher above you that you’re basically just walking entertainment for him. So really live up to that entertainment expectation and tell him to go fuck himself.

4. He Strings You Along

This goes along with the saying the right thing at the right time. Even with his priorly mentioned giant ego, he knows you’re not completely stupid and that you will sometimes start to come to your senses and attempt to pull away from him. This is when he’ll drop one of his perfect lines or whatever he needs to to keep you under his thumb.

These guys are also very good at pretending. They’ll pretend to be a great guy, they’ll pretend you’re the only one for them and give you a taste of the relationship you want. So you pretend it doesn’t hurt and move on from him.

5. Your Friends Don’t Like Him

Similar to your mom not liking him, your friends know you and want to look out for you. When they’re slightly rude to him or they tell you to drop him, instead of getting mad, you should listen to them. They not only care about you, but they’re also coming from an outside viewpoint and they can see what you can’t. Remember they have nothing but your best interests at heart, but he only has his best interests in mind.

Only you can protect your heart, so don’t be a pussy and fight for it.

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KelseyWeyhofen

aspiring vodka aunt. spends her days complaining about everything and doing nothing to improve herself. Approximately 10 minutes late to everything. Follow her social media to validate her giant ego.

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