51 “Bad” Things You Should Totally Do In College


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When it comes to college, there’s a lot of really good advice circling the interweb. Follow your passion! Get involved! Do well in classes! Education comes first! Blah blah fucking blah. And seriously, do all of that shit. But at the same time, you’re in college. And college is the time to have fun. College is the time to make really bad decisions. I know I know. You don’t want to ruin your future, I get that. And I don’t want you to screw your life over either. But as an old hag who’s left “the scene” I want you to know: Live. College. The. Fuck. Up. Do it all. Make wonderfully bad decisions. Here are a few to get you started. Be smart about it. But enjoy it. You only get to do it once.

  1. Kiss a girl.
  2. Just do it. Who knows, maybe you’ll like it. Now’s the time to figure it out.
  3. And hey, if you want to go further, do that too.
  4. Get an unlimited meal plan and eat whatever the hell you want.
  5. And don’t say “no” to 2 a.m. Taco Bell.
  6. I know. It has so many carbs. But carbs don’t count when you’re in undergrad.
  7. Skip class.
  8. Only in college can you wake up and decide you don’t want to tend to your responsibilities because you just can’t fathom putting on pants.
  9. Unless of course your class takes attendance. But don’t be dumb enough to fall into that trap.
  10. Hook up with a guy in every fraternity.
  11. I know how slutty it sounds, but you’ll have so much fun trying.
  12. And being that slutty is pretty gross once you walk across that stage your senior year in May.
  13. Change your major.
  14. Change it a lot.
  15. And take dumb, totally wrong for you but oh-so-fascinating classes.
  16. Sure, an underwater-pottery-modern dance class miiiight not help with your career, but it’ll be a blast.
  17. Break some hearts.
  18. And be willing to get yours broken, too.
  19. Dance on top of a bar.
  20. I know standards tells you not to, but do it anyways.
  21. And while you’re up there, take a body shot.
  22. Because honestly, don’t worry about standards too much.
  23. I’m not saying go destroy your chapter, but for the most part getting in a little trouble isn’t the end of the world.
  24. Stay up all night.
  25. And sleep in all damn day.
  26. Play flip cup. Do a keg stand. Dominate at beer pong.
  27. It might not carry over into your adult life, but you’ll feel like a boss ass bitch when a group of people cheers you on for chugging warm beer.
  28. Have sex in a weird place.
  29. And that means whatever is weird for you, whether it’s a bar bathroom, the back of the car, or your living room couch.
  30. Go on that spring break trip.
  31. No, you might not be able to afford it, but once you graduate and have the money, you’ll wish you would have done it when you had the time.
  32. Streaking. Yes. Do it.
  33. Because running around with your friends, sort of drunk and very naked is going to be one of those memories you smile at forever.
  34. Be a little psycho. It’s really only acceptable now.
  35. And don’t be afraid to ignore a text, or text someone five times in a row. Because honestly? It doesn’t matter.
  36. Swipe right more than you swipe left. You never know who you’ll meet.
  37. Or who has a big dick wallet. JK (but not really).
  38. Go TOFTB.
  39. Just once (or more. No judgements). Because they’ll never be as perky as they are now.
  40. You don’t need that last shot, but take it anyways.
  41. And you don’t need that giant brunch the next morning, but eat it anyways.
  42. Take videos of all the shit you do (but never, ever post them).
  43. Don’t be afraid to go on a date.
  44. And date as many of the wrong people as you can.
  45. And if you find the right guy, don’t be afraid to date him your whole undergrad either.
  46. Because you’re the one who has to see him, and love him, everyday. If you like him, don’t be afraid to keep him.
  47. Buy all of the cute sorority shirts.
  48. No you don’t need them. But years later you’ll wish you had a few.
  49. Tequila shots. They’re literally never a good idea, now matter how old you are. But always, always take them.
  50. Go to the party. Even if you have class the next day. Go.
  51. Cancel plans, be selfish, and do whatever the hell you want. Now’s the one time in your life when you can sort of be an asshole and it’s totally fine. So for the love of all that is bad, basic, and a complete blast, don’t waste it.

Cheers to the best four years.

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to: rachel@grandex.co

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