You’re not a freshmen.
So you know not to wear your lanyard around you neck.
Or schedule any classes before 9 a.m.
But you finally get to make fun of the kids who do.
And you’re not a senior.
So you don’t have to deal with job applications or the
crippling fear that you’re about to be an adult. You’ve already gained your freshmen 15.
And you’ve lost it, or accepted it, depending on how big your tits got.
And even if you’ve accepted it, you’re still young.
And therefore, still hot.
You know which bars have the best drinks, staff, and guys.
And you know which ones steal fake IDs and dignity.
You know how to handle college classes.
And never to sign up for a course unless you know someone else in it.
Because yes. You know someone in every single one of your classes.
But your whole life isn’t riding on this year’s GPA.
You have a general idea what you want to do and what major to declare.
But if you switch from hospitalities to psych this year, chances are you can still graduate on time.
Not that you’ll want to graduate on time, but whatever.
You FINALLY get a
little. But you’re still cute enough that your big is obsessed with you.
And you don’t yet have to deal with the jealousy of watching your own little get her offspring.
Or the crippling fear of no longer being relevant when you get a GG-little.
You’re old enough to know that you don’t always have to dress up.
But young enough to pull off looking like a total slut when you want to.
Going out is still 100 percent fun.
But you’re also no longer scared of handing the bouncer your fake.
Or confidently ordering a vodka soda.
Because yes. You’ve moved on from sex on the beach and amaretto sours.
You’ve dumped your high school boyfriend and realized how much happier you are without him.
But you don’t feel the need to find a new guy, with engagements still a
long way off. You can hook up with basically any guy at the bar.
If he’s a freshmen, it’s not like he’s thaaaat much younger.
And seniors aren’t as creepy, now that you’ve had a year to get your sex-legs.
Spring break is dedicated to going on cruises or visiting a party town.
Instead of just seeing your high school bf.
Or checking out grad schools and going on interviews.
You still casually keep in touch with your high school friends.
So you don’t feel like a friendless loser yet, whenever you go home for break.
Speaking of friends, you finally have a good set of those at school too.
And you know which classes to take, where to sit, and have a stream of old notes from people looking out for you.
You know not to fear standards.
But you’ve also learned the secret of discretion.
It’s okay if you still get freshmen-year drunk.
But you’re also much better at holding your liquor.
You’re not spending every night in a twin-extra long.
And walking around a frat house in nothing but a long t-shirt no longer phases you.
Being at a frat house isn’t totally depressing yet.
Because you can still attend frat parties without feeling like a complete grandma.
But you’re confident enough to play flip cup, instead of just standing in the corner, smiling nervously at your phone.
You can also attend house parties because you actually know a few people with houses.
And you’re hooking up with people in houses.
You know where almost everything is on campus, so you know how to avoid exes. Or find them. Whatever suits your needs
And you’re learning the
art of casual hookups, awkward run-ins, and how to be exactly who you want to be. You’re in the fun, fearless year where you can do whatever the hell you want.
With whoever the hell you want.
And even though you’re old enough to know better, you’re young enough not to GAF. Cheers to the best year, and never,
ever grow up. Trust. .
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