I think Pinterest is a great waste of time. I can blame Pinterest for my mediocre at best academic achievements this past semester, as well as for insight to the terrible tastes of the world that helped me create my new favorite board, “Tacky Weddings Ideas for Doomed First Marriages.” It’s a social medium that can be really fun to its users.
I just don’t think people really understand what Pinterest is. First of all, the site was created as a way for people to essentially bookmark all of the interesting sites they come across on the web and organize them into one place. I think that’s a great idea, especially when you’re mindlessly online shopping or browsing the web and want to remember a site for later use. It’s a great little online community where you can also view what other people are saving, so you can discover cool new sites and blogs you might not have come across before.
That being said, I think it’s time to realize there are some serious flaws to Pinterest that need to be addressed and stopped immediately. Aside from the idiots who blindly pin random pictures — that’s not a website link, it’s just a picture of elephants, Dumbo — there are a couple of seriously terrible things I’m sick of seeing on that fucking site.
1. Any “Teacher Ideas”
Listen, Internet, not all of us decided to become kindergarten teachers who attach pennies to bookmarks for our snot-nosed students. I’m so sick of every single “great for teachers!” pin it’s ridiculous. Why do these teachers have so much time to blog about their mediocre at best classroom ideas? Why aren’t they busy educating America’s youth? Also, since when is it fucking creative to put an apple on your desk? You bitches are crazy. I made better bulletin boards than that when I was student teaching, and I used to show up hungover and miserable. It’s not “FUN” to handmake a bookmark for each one of your 9th graders. It’s a waste of time, and a waste of Pinterest space.
2. All of the stupid “DIY” projects
I’m not saying I hate crafting, because I was known to make a mean banner or two back in my day. However, half of the shit on Pinterest on the “DIY” section is completely fucking pointless. OH, put your laundry detergent in a mason jar! Why the fuck would I waste time transferring a liquid from one container to another? Does it change the use of it? Does it add any value other than wasting my time? You’re not “crafty” for throwing a fucking burlap sack on a table, you’re lazy and poor.
3. “Shabby Chic” and “Country Chic” are not actually “Chic.” At all.
There is a time and place for mason jars, but they have become the lazy go–to for any girl who thinks she’s a domestic goddess. There’s nothing fucking cute about grabbing some old duvet at Goodwill and throwing it on a bed with a bunch of costume jewelry. It’s not a cute, easy home makeover, it’s an invitation for fleas and ants to infest your sleeping area. As if Lily Pulitzer wasn’t enough, why does everyone think that imitating our grandmothers is a thing all of a sudden? FIY, “vintage” actually refers to something that is old, as in, a vintage Chanel handbag from the ’70s. It’s not “vintage” if you just made it, it’s cheap-looking.
4. Repurposing is pointless.
“Repurpose this couch into a toy box for your children! Doubles as a bookshelf, a stove, and a washing machine!” What in the actual fuck!? I’m not repurposing anything, I’m going out and buying what I need. I don’t think it’s a good use of anyone’s time to take some decrepit bookshelf and turn it into a play thing for a child, and I’m not completely sure it’s smart or safe to try and turn a clawfoot tub into a car. I’m just saying.
5. Any fucking wedding idea.
I’m saying this for the last time: the theme of a wedding is a WEDDING. You have all of college to throw ragers with a theme, why would you make a mockery of your big day by doing a “beach theme” or a “circus theme” or a “we’re 23 and have given up on life so HEY NOW WE’RE GETTING MARRIED theme?” Most of the wedding shit on Pinterest is tacky and pointless. If you’re actually making your entire wedding “Tiffany’s!” themed, I’m willing to bet you don’t actually own any nice jewelry from Tiffany & Co. If you’re seriously going to cover your wedding invitations in burlap and have mustache straws, I think you might want to go back to the first grade for a few years before tying the knot. 95% of the shit you find under the weddings tab looks like something any girl on the cast of Teen Mom would think is a good idea, not an actual classy nod to matrimony.
6. “Fashion” Pages
It’s not a fucking novel idea to layer clothing, it’s a basic concept in the Northeast. Yes, Chevron is cute and trendy, but it’s not the end-all of fashion. If I see another mediocre at best compilation of a pair of jeans, a pair of Toms, and a long-sleeved shirt with a vest, I’m going to fucking lose it. That’s not a “cute fall look,” that’s a uniform for a lumberjack convention.
I’ve been waging my personal war against hipsters and Taylor Swift for some time now, and I’m adding “terrible Pinterest concepts” to my cause.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for a board that doesn’t suck, follow this one.