It’s summer. We’re expected to rock crop tops and bikinis for the next several weeks and as unfortunate as it is, the high-waisted shorts aren’t quite hiding everything that we want them to. After one last Netflix and ice cream binge, it’s time to start consuming food that actually has some sort of nutritional value and it’s also time to start doing the unthinkable — exercising. The gym is filled with too many people to witness you struggling so you decide to go for a run outside. You’ve tried it before so you’ll try it again, but this is inevitably going to be the train of thought going through your head during the entire torturous experience:

1. Alright, this is the beginning of a journey. A journey to a better me. And a better butt.
2. I should put on a sports bra.
3. This is the first time since buying this sports bra that I’ve worked out in it.
4. I’m seriously going to stick with my plan this time so I should really invest in about 100 more of these things.
5. Maybe I should look some up online real quick. And start a fitness Pinterest board.
6. NO, no I’ll do it later. If I don’t make myself leave right now, this is never going to happen.
7. I really hope I don’t see anyone I know. Or anyone at all.
8. Ok, just put one foot in front of the other, I can do this.
9. I wonder if this is a normal pace. Am I going fast enough?
10. Fifteen seconds in and going strong. This isn’t so terrible.
11. I just need to force myself to keep going no matter what. No stopping. It’s all in my head.
12. Maybe I’ll actually get good at running this time around. I could finally sign up for the Color Run. Ugh those look so fun. I want to do a Color Run.
13. I could have some insane transformation. I could start my own fitness Instagram account and post transformation pictures on it. I should’ve taken a “before” picture earlier. I’ll do it when I get back.
14. I can’t wait to see my transformation.
15. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe at all.
16. I have to stop.
17. No, I can’t. I haven’t even made it a quarter of a mile yet. If I can’t run a quarter of a mile then I’ll never make it through a Color Run.
18. Screw the Color Run. I’m stopping.
19. My lungs are on fire.
20. I should really stop smoking. Just kidding, I don’t smoke, I’m just THAT out of shape.
21. I should just turn around and quit.
22. NO. No, no, no. I have to keep going. It’s okay if I don’t run the WHOLE time right? Gotta start somewhere.
23. Okay I’ll just walk for ten more seconds and then I’ll start running again.
24. Twenty seconds. Twenty seconds and I swear I will start running.
25. Okay, let’s try this again.
26. Back in the game. No stopping now.
27. I’m tired again.
28. I just need to make it to this mailbox. I can’t let myself stop again before this mailbox.
29. That mailbox is way farther than I thought.
30. DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU GET TO THE DAMN MAILBOX.
31. I’m stopping.
32. I can’t make it to the stupid mailbox.
33. I’ve heard that alternating between walking and running is highly effective anyway.
34. Shit, there’s a car coming.
35. Do I start running so they don’t think I’m slacking?
36. I’m just going to sprint until they pass me.
37. Bad idea.
38. My lungs are on fire.
39. I’m going to pass out.
40. Exercising is so overrated.
41. My body is fine anyway. Nobody’s perfect right?? Every shape is beautiful right?!?
42. I LOVE MY BODY.
43. I don’t need exercise.
44. I just need to make it back to my apartment.
45. I’ll start running in five seconds.
46. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
47. Never mind. I’ll start at the next mailbox.
48. Okay no stopping until I get to the door.
49. Anyone that does this for fun should be admitted into an insane asylum.
50. Almost to the door.
51. Almost there, almost there, almost there.
52. I MADE IT.
53. I DID IT.
54. I WENT FOR A RUN.
55. My legs feel like jello.
56. I actually think I’m going to faint.
57. I need chocolate.
58. I need carbs.
59. I feel great and terrible at the same time.
60. That was the best and worst idea I’ve ever had.
61. Maybe I’ll try it again in a year. .

Nice Move981

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MarinaLynBrown

@MarinaLynBrown is a basic, blonde, broke sorority girl getting through college one walk-of-shame at a time with a little help from her anxiety meds, daily trips to Starbucks, and several bottles of wine.

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