“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place… like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.” -Azar Nafisi

Hang on tight, seniors. All of the feels are about to hit you.

1. All during break, you were torn between dying to go back, and not being ready to face your final semester.
2. Just reading the words “final semester” right there actually made your heart stop. Because, no.
3. You’ve seriously considered changing your major so you can stay another year (or four).
4. But then, at the same time, you never want to look at a twin extra-long ever again.
5. Even though, not to brag, you did do some really bad things in that really tiny bed.
6. Like watch Law & Order: SVU and eat dining hall pizza all day. You know, freshman stuff.
7. You get annoyingly emotional about every “last” you have.
8. “OMG, this is my last first day of school EVER.” (sob)
9. “OMG, this is my last time to skip my first day of school EVER.” (sob)
10. “OMG, this is my last time to be hungover after I skipped my first day of school EVER.” (sob, sob, sob)
11. You try to figure out where the career center is located, because LOL at finding a big person job.
12. When they ask what career you’re looking for, you literally just want to ask for one that allows you to wear yoga pants and have as little responsibility as possible.
13. You have to buy every single shirt your sorority, favorite fraternity, and the Panhellenic council offer, because this is it.
14. And no, you don’t have enough spirit jerseys, thanks for asking.
15. You’re terrified of saying goodbye to your meal plan in a few months.
16. Who’s going to fill up a late plate with vegetarian tacos, French fries, and a cupcake for you every day? Your boss?
17. And what? Will Fried Friday not be a lunch theme in the adult world?
18. Because the only way to get over that Friday hangover is by consuming chicken nuggets, onion rings, and fried macaroni and cheese balls that your chef prepares for you without judgement.
19. And then you realize that Friday hangovers don’t exist in the real world, so you cry and chug vodka because WTF is this shit?
20. You can’t say no when someone asks you to go out, because college.
21. The fact that this is your last Bid Day makes you want to grab every single new baby and tell each of them to never grow up.
22. You almost can’t love them because you’re so jealous that they’re about to have the time of their lives, and you’re about to start a 401(k).
23. “I WANT TO GET A BIG, DAMMIT. YOU’RE SO LUCKY. I HATE YOU.”
24. Sweatpants and hoodies are your outfit of choice from now on.
25. And you give zero fucks about going to a bar in a frat tank, gym clothes, or an unattractive theme because you’re too senior to care.
26. Watching your great-grand-little get initiated was one of the most depressing things of your entire life.
27. Don’t even try listening to the song, “Never Alone.” Seriously, just don’t.
28. You drink. A lot.
29. And you drink for everything and anything.
30. Sober events? Hidden flask. Chapter? Tumbler filled with vodka. House dinner? Wine bra.
31. And yes, you have a wine bra. Is that office appropriate?
32. You’ve given up on the idea of meeting “the one,” because most of the guys on campus are infants.
33. That doesn’t stop you from living out your cougar dreams and flirting with a freshy or two, but really, it’s just because they’re adorable and think you’re hot shit.
34. Which you are. Duh.
35. You’re pretty sure you should have been a teacher, because they get to craft with little kids and eat snacks all day, so…
36. And if you’re about to become a teacher, you’re freaking the eff out because it’s up to YOU to train future generations.
37. You, the girl who threw up in her purse on the way to formal sophomore year. No pressure.
38. You suddenly take ritual much more seriously because you don’t want the chapter to go to shit when you leave.
39. And all of this “friendship for a lifetime” mumbo jumbo that you didn’t care about is actually hitting you because your time as an active is almost up.
40. Every time someone announces a new post-college job offer, you freak out because you’re pretty sure you’ll never, ever get employed.
41. You call your mom for pep talks on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
42. You don’t feel strongly enough about anything to put it on your mortarboard and you have actual nightmares about messing it up.
43. You know that you’ve outgrown that “college” phase, which only makes you feel worse, because you really are a grandma.
44. Even though you feel like you started college yesterday, and you’re in complete denial that it’s already almost over.
45. Like, it doesn’t make sense. Did you accidentally skip a year or something?
46. You wonder if you should have done more, tried harder, or gotten involved in different things.
47. What if you were supposed to be a doctor? Or an underwater basket weaver? Or a trophy wife? What then?
48. You don’t get how every other senior seems super excited and “together” when it comes to graduating, considering you don’t even wear a bra somedays.
49. You can’t believe that your friends are actually getting engaged when you can’t even commit to a show on Netflix.
50. And yes, you spend a solid amount of time with Netflix because it’s better than facing reality. Healthy? No. Effective? Hell yes.
51. You avoid having conversations about cell phones with your parents, because you have this looming fear that they’re going to take you off their plan in May.
52. Then what? Do you have to conserve minutes? Talk only on the third Saturday of the month after 9 p.m. like a fucking barbarian?
53. You can’t put on panty hose without ripping them, which basically means you suck at life. So, like, whoops.
54. You don’t know how you’re going to incorporate your collection of lettered crop tops into your business professional wardrobe.
55. “What are your plans after graduation?”
    Uh, punching you in the face for asking that question?
56. You have no fucking idea what you’re going to do, and it’s terrifying.
57. Everyone tells you that it will be okay, but it’s so hard to believe them, because you’re balancing on the edge of being a kid and becoming an adult. In a few short months, you’re going to have to jump.
58. How do they know it will be okay? How do they know you’ll be okay?
59. Even though you’re beautiful, smart, educated, loved, supported, trained, and prepared, you have no idea how this next chapter will work out for you. Not knowing what comes next is what scares you more than anything.
60. But you know what the secret is? At the end of the day, no one knows what the hell they’re doing. So smile, take a deep breath, and get ready for the next amazing part of your life: being a young professional with money. Now that doesn’t sound so bad, huh?
61. And remember, if all else fails, you always have your sisters, friends, and family to pick you up when you fall.
62. Oh, and wine..

Nice Move399

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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