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69 Thoughts Every Girls Has While Makeup Shopping

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  1. Ooh, Sephora! I’ll just stop in real quick.
  2. I just need eyeliner.
  3. I’ll be in there five minutes, tops.
  4. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PALETTE!
  5. I’ve never used blue eyeshadow before, but if I had this palette maybe I would.
  6. Yup. Buying it.
  7. My brushes are peasantry. I need better ones.
  8. These brushes are so. Freaking. Soft.
  9. I need all of the brushes. All of them.
  10. HOW IS ONE BRUSH $52?!
  11. For $52, this brush better turn me into Beyoncé.
  12. I’ll just buy it anyway. I can always return it.
  13. Even though I’ve literally never returned a single item in my entire life.
  14. Look at all these brand new lipsticks!
  15. This red is speaking to me.
  16. Can I even pull off red lipstick?
  17. *applies lipstick*
  18. Abort mission.
  19. What about this vampy, dark color?
  20. Maybe I’ll try to overline my lips juuuust a tad.
  21. OMG. It’s going everywhere.
  22. I’ve put on lipstick hundreds of times in my life. Why is this so impossible?
  23. Better just take it off.
  24. Aaaaaand now it’s all over my face. Great.
  25. I’ll just stick with a classic pinky nude.
  26. Why yes, helpful employee, I’d love a shopping bag!
  27. Onto the next row of beautiful things.
  28. Oooh, two-in-one foundation and concealer?
  29. It costs more than my entire outfit.
  30. But it’s two-in-one, so if I buy it, it’s like I’m saving money.
  31. Purchase. Justified.
  32. Now I just need to find my shade.
  33. They all look the same shade of beige. Help.
  34. I guess the Sephora sales associate saw the confused look on my face, because she’s coming over here.
  35. Hmm. The shade she picked out for me looks a little dark for my skin tone, but this is their job. They know what they’re doing, right?
  36. LOOK AT THIS HIGHLIGHT!
  37. This highlight is brighter than my future and I need it in my life.
  38. Into the bag with your new friends you go!
  39. Okay, I need to stop before I make myself go broke.
  40. Time to go checkout.
  41. This line is soooooo long.
  42. Good thing they have all these travel sized items to distract me!
  43. And they’re so cheap!
  44. $7 for one face mask? That’s basically free compared to some of the other prices in here!
  45. I need this mini dry shampoo for after the gym.
  46. Well, after I start actually going to the gym.
  47. And this teensy bottle of face cleanser for whenever I travel!
  48. Even though that only happens, like, once a year to visit my grandparents in Florida.
  49. This set has three mini lipsticks in one!
  50. That’s such a good deal!
  51. Wow, I’m a money-saving extraordinaire.
  52. And here’s a tiny mascara!
  53. $10 for .05 ounces of product? Seems like a good deal to me.
  54. Finally arrived at the cash register.
  55. “Did you find everything alright?”
  56. Considering I bought one of everything in the store, I think the answer is yes.
  57. Finally, the moment of truth.
  58. I OWE HOW MUCH?!
  59. Oh. Um. Haha. Okay.
  60. I totally have that amount of money to spend on makeup.  Nbd.
  61. How did this happen?
  62. Oh yeah. That one thing cost $58. And I bought many more things after that.
  63. It’s too late to turn back now. I’ll just return some stuff later.
  64. Or maybe I’ll just sell a kidney.
  65. THEN I CAN BUY EVEN MORE MAKEUP.
  66. Even though I spent too much, I love everything I bought.
  67. No regrets.
  68. *gets home*
  69. FUCK. I forgot to get eyeliner.

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: [email protected] (not .com).

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