You did it. You landed the big one. You finally convinced a nice, funny, decent looking guy to date you and only you. You’ve been seeing each other for awhile now and decided to make it official. Congratulations! You’re not dying alone! There’s a ton of amazing things about having a boyfriend, but there’s also a few things that are going to change.
1. You Stop Trying To Impress Him
You’ve spent the past few weeks (or months) trying to do everything right. You consulted your group text on what to wear to your first, second, and third dates. You made sure to get rid of all the hair below your neck every time there was even a possibility of hanging out. You even cleaned your apartment (including the dirty dishes your annoying roommate left in the sink) so he would think you’re wife material. It’s actually exhausting trying to get a boyfriend. But that’s all over now because he says he likes you for who you are. Aww.
So you can go ahead and stop scrubbing the kitchen counters and giving yourself razor burn, because your boyfriend will still want to have sex with you all the freaking time.
2. You Forget About Your Friends
This is kind of a sad one. If you’re in a relationship, think about the last time you really hung out with your friends. I’m not just talking about actively participating in the group text, either. When’s the last time you all went out together, sans dudes? Or the last time you asked your best friend what’s new in her life or who she’s dating? When’s the last time you got outrageously drunk with your girlfriends and had a sleepover where you all laughed until you cried?
It’s been awhile. Even if it hasn’t been awhile, you should be aware that even if you have a boyfriend, your friends still need you. It’s easy to get into a routine with your guy, and you should be spending time with him and getting to know him better, but don’t be that girl who gets a boyfriend and ditches her friends. Everyone hates that girl.
3. You Stop Going Out
Half the fun of going out is putting on a tight dress with heels that make your butt look good and flirting with boys in an attempt to get them to buy you a drink. Sure, you’ll still go out with your guy and have him buy you drinks, which is nice, but going out becomes less fun when you know exactly who you’re going home with. You might even half ass your makeup and wear (gasp!) flats to the bar. There’s no one to impress, after all. It’s also less fun for him because he’s spending $50 on Ubers and drinks when it would’ve been cheaper (and probably more fun) to just buy a bottle of wine and watch Netflix in bed.
So you become that boring couple that likes to stay in on the weekends. Of course it’s not boring to you, because if you’re in a good relationship you can have fun doing anything together, but you do end up spending less time at the bars.
4. You Go On Fewer Dates
Before you became official, he was still trying to impress you. He would take you out to nice restaurants where they have cloth napkins and buy a bottle of the second cheapest wine, because he wants to show you he’s not a cheap bastard. You would brag to your friends about all the dates he took you on and how he opened like, every door for you.
Now you’re just as excited as you were for those dates when he brings home Chick-fil-a and doesn’t forget to ask for extra Chick-fil-a sauce. You eat in front of the TV, switching between whatever sporting event is on and whatever is on E!. This is what it’s like being in a relationship, and I’ll be the first to admit that it doesn’t totally suck.
5. You Stop Caring About How You Look
Remember that cute phase of your budding relationship where you would get out of bed early to “go pee,” when really you would brush you teeth and wash the sleep out of your eyes before crawling back into bed and making him think that you’re one of those girls who looks good in the mornings? Yeah, well, that’s over with.
Now you have morning sex while still wearing your retainer and fall asleep while your hair is still wet, so in the morning you look like an electrocuted poodle. Before you were in a relationship, you would still wear makeup to class in case that hot guy in your history class asked you to borrow a pencil or marry you or something like that, but now you’ve stopped wearing makeup altogether. He says you’re beautiful without it, and even if he’s lying, you’re not complaining.
6. You Meet A Ton Of New People
If you and your boyfriend were friends before you made the decision to jump into a relationship, you probably already know most of his friends because they’re also your friends. If you weren’t, chances are you’ve already met a few of his friends, but others will suddenly come out of the woodwork wanting to meet the girl who pussywhipped their friend. After that, you still have to meet his mom, his sister, his grandmother, his best friend from high school… the list goes on. You need to gain the approval of every single one of these people if you really like this guy.
Luckily, you’ve had some experience impressing strangers, so just act like you’re a PNM and they’re your top house. You’ll be fine.
7. You Never Sleep Alone
Once you finally have a boyfriend, get used to waking up to him stealing all the covers or snoring or taking up 95% of the bed. He’ll have to get used to his arm falling asleep and regularly having your hair in his mouth. You might be that couple that doesn’t like to touch, or the couple that falls asleep in each other’s arms and wakes up in the same position. Having a boyfriend means always having a thunder buddy, a cuddle buddy, and someone to hold you close when you wake up from a nightmare. It means that whether you’re sleeping at his place or yours, you have a designated side of the bed. On those rare nights where you don’t sleep together, it feels like something’s missing.
You miss the snoring and the blanket stealing, because the best thing that changes when you have a boyfriend is getting to wake up next to him every morning. .