7 Things Your Little Will Teach You


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7 things your little will teach you

At the risk of sounding old enough to, like, pay a mortgage or something, I’ll have to admit, I never understood why my parents would smile and tear up watching me open my presents on Christmas morning until I became a big. There’s something special about seeing the joy and surprise on someone you care about’s face even though you personally already know what’s behind the wrapping. On the day of big/little reveal, the sheet drops and for the first time your little sees you as more than a sister. This time, she sees you as her big.

There’s smiles. There’s tears. There’s *candids.* You finally have your baby — minus the excruciating pain of ripping your most important bodily organ in half, of course. Time will fly as this girl you had fallen in love with in a matter of weeks rapidly grows to be your best friend.

The whole idea behind having bigs and littles (besides providing an excuse to spend an ungodly amount of your college fund on stereotypical sorority girl shit) is to provide new members with someone to teach them what being a sorority woman is about. Although I successfully managed to teach my littles our sorority’s shot song, I can honestly say the best thing about big/little is what my little taught me.

1. You’re Never Too Old To Go To Frat Parties

At some point, some completely irrelevant bitch started the rumor that after sophomore year, it’s no longer socially acceptable to go to fraternity parties. Let me make this real clear. This. Is. A. Rumor. If you ever start to think that you’re too old for free alcohol and dancing to Flo Rida with sexy boys, you might need to start thinking more about your sexuality, and less about your age. This being said, there is no one that can convince you that studying for your grad school exams is overrated faster than your little. Even if you are the only one who shows a real “Over 21 ID” at the door, sometimes we all need a reminder that we are only young once and need to appreciate it while it lasts.

2. Sometimes You Need To Grow The Fuck Up

As fun as it is to dance on the bar and drink Everclear punch, there are (hopefully rare) circumstances that require you to pull your tongue out of the freshman fraternity pledge’s mouth and be a big. Whether your little got ghosted by the guy she slept with or needs to be bailed out of jail, this is your moment to put on your mom pants (different from your Urban Outfitters high rise jeans) and be there for her.

3. It’s Okay To Cry

I’ll never forget the first time my little cried in front of me. As much as my heart ached for her, I was honored that she felt comfortable enough to pour her heart out to me. As much as we all love to throw on our resting bitch face and pretend like nothing can fuck with us, sometimes we all need to drink a little bit too much red wine and sob about how some chick told you your jeans were ugly in 7th grade and how you’re still not over it. If you comfortable ruining your mascara and sporting Avril-Lavigne-circa-2006 eyes in front of someone, it says a lot about your bond. Humble yourself enough to cry like Kim K and be a fucking human.

4. If He Breaks Your Heart, Seek Revenge

No one in college will ever have your back in a break up like your little. Even if she’s the one holding you back to prevent you from slapping him across the face while in public, she will damn well also be the one plotting with you a way to burn down his house without having to spend life in a federal prison.

5. You Can Always Repay Someone In Food.. Specifically Dining Dollars

The funny thing about littles is they always have access to food but seem to always be lacking actual cash. If you make a booze run and offer to pick up an extra handle for your little, be prepared for her to compensate you for your services in the form of on-campus Panda Express. Seems like a fair trade to me.

6. FourLokos Are Always An Option

After freshman year I promised myself I would never touch another FourLoko again. I lied. Your little will never fail to remind you that the people who pregame with wine or anything from the top-shelf are also the people who have three kids, a shitty sex life, drive minivans, and don’t wax. Hangovers keep you young.

7. The Meaning Of The Word ‘Sisterhood’

It doesn’t matter how many times you get put on social probation for attempting to use fake IDs at date parties, how many times you “throw whatcha know” while wasted wearing letters, or how many times you fall off the bar while impersonating Britney Spears- your little will always look up to you. She not only sees you as a role model (as bad of an influence as you might be) but also as a sister. Your little will support you through good times and bad, through drunk times and sober, through aced tests or failed, through the weeks you feel hot in a bikini or feel like you need to lay off on the Taco Bell. She is the one you can tell your secrets to, the one that will make you shriek when you see her in public, the one who you will probably kiss if you get drunk enough, and the one who will go with you to court to pay for your MIP. She is your sister.

People who say sorority girls pay for their friends are wrong. If they knew us well enough they would know that ultimately, sorority girls pay to find their little.

My life is pretty much one big awkward embarrassing moment. Dream-self is a cross between Amy Schumer and Serena Van der Woodsen. I like LITs a little too much and am standards board's worst nightmare. If you don't party on Tuesdays then what's the point of college..? Feel free to email me funny stories and Memes because I love to laugh and there's a chance I might be able to make you laugh too. blondeboozy@gmail.com xo

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