8 Ways Finding A Little Is Like Being On “The Bachelor”


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The Bachelor is such an insane concept. You are supposed to find true love in a group of women who have been interviewed to be a part of a group and were all picked for different reasons. Which, when you think about it, is exactly like trying to find a little.

Only A Few Weeks To Find Your Soulmate

You do not get a lot of time to get to know all of the girls. There’s some you click with, but you are left wondering if there is another one who you will click with beyond the fact you love to dance and Kappa Sig is your favorite frat. Aren’t just supposed to “know”? Aren’t you supposed to feel tingly all over your body when you are with “The One”? Are they tingles or have you had too many glasses of wine? It’s exhausting.

Competition Is Fierce

On the littles’ side, there’s one girl in your pledge class who is just perfect. Usually blonde, effortlessly pretty, a total sweetheart, and you hate her for it. All of the bigs wants her as their little, at least to some capacity, which leaves you either in the dust or trying to perform extravagant stunts to get the bigs to notice you. On the bigs’ side, there’s one girl in your pledge class who is just awesome. She’s a social butterfly, gives great advice, is the life of the party, and you just KNOW she is going to make the best crafts. Bitch. The best either of you could do is search for the one girl who isn’t completely wooed by the stars of the show and DO. NOT. LET. HER. GO.

Group Dates And One-On-Ones

There are many different ways to meet and fall in love with your little. There are group events, like pregames and socials, where you get to see the fun side of the girls. Then, if you find one who you are particularly interested in, you can ask her on a one-on-one. Something fancy. Like Panera Bread. Casually dunk your baguette into your broccoli and cheese soup as you ask her questions about her life, and quietly picture how she would fit into family photos.

Some Aren’t There For “The Right Reasons”

Some girls will pick littles to continue an entirely blonde lineage. Some girls will pick bigs because their fam line all date Pikes and she is single AF. Do not fall for this blasphemy. They are blatantly disrespecting the whole concept of bigs and littles. If they are tampering with the delicacy that is selecting a family member, they have got to go.

You Keep The Crazy Girls Around For Entertainment

That one girl who is obsessed with you is absolutely insane. You would never let her join your family, but despite her complete lack of self-control and seemingly nonexistent boundaries, she makes you feel special. You’ll let her down easy, but you’ll let her hang out for a bit.

You Have Feelings For More Than One Girl

When it gets closer to picking, you realize that you have made connections with many girls. But you have to sit down and think which ones you are close with and which one is The One. This is the hardest thing you will have to do, because there will never be another time in your life where you have to date two kindergarten classes worth of people at once.

You Can’t Say Which Girl You Like Best

When you find a girl you love, you want to shout it from the rooftops. You want everyone to know that she is your squishy and she is yours and you shall call her squishy. But that is frowned upon. Just Instagram a cute picture of the two of you with a sappy caption. Everyone will get the hint. Plus, they’ll see how cute the two of you are and they won’t be able to bring themselves to break the two of you up.

There Can Only Be One

In the end, there is only one little (or two in the case of twins). You choose her and propose spending the rest of your lives together as a pair. You don’t know what the future will hold. You don’t know if the two of you will grow closer or grow apart, but something about her makes you feel willing to try.

So, Little, do you accept this rose?

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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