When the omnipotent Kylie spoke to us in January saying that this was the “Year Of Just Realizing Things,” we laughed her off. Scoffed even. We rejected her idea that this year would be one that would change our lives, but as we have experienced, there is a lot of stuff that was realized this year.
1. We Didn’t Know Taylor Swift As Well As We Thought
Taylor Swift was America’s Sweetheart for far too long until her reign was finally ended. She was famously dethroned by Kimye on July 18th, and ever since then, the public has opened their eyes to the snake that she really is. Hate to say I told you so. Just kidding, I love saying it.
2. We Actually Care About Animals
Usually, we are conscious of animals, but this year, we realized that they can be wronged too. 2015 was all about Cecil the Lion, but you could not go anywhere without hearing about Harambe the Goddamn Gorilla. The revenue from t shirt sales alone could fund the European Union after Britain breaks away (something else we realized, GB is not fucking around). We haven’t rallied around an animal like that since Bobo the Gorilla. Maybe we just have a weird thing for gorillas.
3. We Can Wear Chokers With Any Outfit
The staple accessory for 2016 was the choker. We wore them thick, thin, swirly, all different colors, all different charms. Our bare mid-neck was finally adorned with something other than hickeys from that idiot who you told 27 times not to give you a hickey because you had a big presentation on Monday.
4. We Ain’t Ever Gettin’ Older
Don’t bother requesting this song from the DJ because he’s playing it next for the third time. Closer by The Chainsmokers was, and still is, inescapable. Every fiber of your being wants to hate that song, but you know once that chorus starts, you are whipping out your Snapchat and scream singing your basic little heart out.
5. We Have Nothing On The USA Gymnastics Team
No matter how athletic you think you are, you aren’t. These girls are not only beautiful, but they can do flippy shit better than anyone alive on Earth. Laurie Hernandez is easily the cutest human alive, and Simone Biles is an American hero. If watching them didn’t inspire you to at least learn to touch your toes, then you must not be on a reasonable mental plane.
6. We Will Never Be Able To Keep Up With The Kardashians
Even with a reality show and constant social media, it’s still impossible to know what these people are up to. Now with Blac Chyna in the mix, it’s a 24/7 three ring shit show. Try as we might, we may never truly keep up with them. But there in lies the allure.
7. We Could Not Relate To Others Without Netflix
Small talk turned into a recap of all of the shows that were on Netflix. You could obsess over Stranger Things, or debate evidence presented on Making a Murderer. We pretty much forgot how to communicate and have begun to rely solely on streaming TV, which will be fine as long as Netflix keeps pumping out addictive material. I have a feeling we should be good.
8. We’ll Do Anything As Long As It’s A Hashtagged Challenge
Can we just take a moment to assess our society that challenged each other to stand still? And soiled a GD banger like Black Beatles. We’ll stand still or do little dances as long as there is a promise of 15 seconds of fame for doing it best. But, alas, tis the world we live in. And if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. #DoAllOfTheChallengesChallenge
9. We Love Memes
Everything was a meme. A child became a meme. Cartoons became a meme. Even the year itself became a meme. Nothing brings us together like being tagged in Facebook pictures of the 1,048th variation of the same picture. You can’t help but laugh though. They are always funny. Always.
Maybe we should listen to Kylie more often..
Image via Youtube