There seems to be a holiday for everything now, so of course there’s one for the mediocre-at-best alcoholic beverage: beer. Love it or hate you, you can’t but admit that it has shaped who we are (literally. Thanks a lot, freshmen fifteen). So in honor of National Beer Day, here’s a twenty-four pack of facts that you may not have known about the fraternity man’s beverage of choice.

1. Beer is claimed to prevent cardiac disease and cognitive decline.
   So basically drinking = exercise.
2. Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty beer glass.
   For more information and ways you can get the help you need, call 1-800-BEER-NOW. You are not alone.
3. In the Land of the Pharaohs of Egypt, beer was the national currency.
   I mean, the dollar is getting old anyway. All in favor?
4. Pilgrims on the Mayflower stopped at Plymouth Rock rather than continuing onto Virginia because they ran out of beer.
   And that is why I have a constitutional right to drink.
5. Fried beer won “Most Creative Fried Food” at the 2010 Texas State Fair.
   #Texas
6. At spas in Europe, you can literally bathe in beer as a physical and mental therapeutic treatment.
   So drinking actually DOES get rid of your problems.
7. Thomas Jefferson wrote parts of the Declaration of Independence in a Philadelphia tavern.
   TJ. TFM.
8. In the 1980s, a beer-drinking goat was elected mayor of Lajitas, TX.
   #Texas (because once wasn’t enough).
9. Light is what makes beer go bad.
   If this is supposed to turn me off from day drinking, good luck.
10. “Beer is proof that God loves us” –Benjamin Franklin.
    And this is why he’s on the hundo.
11. Beer could survive a nuclear apocalypse.
    Welp, I know what I’m drinking when the zombies come.
12. The first professional brewers were women.
    You’re welcome, world.
13. George Washington had his own brewhouse on his estate.
    And this is why he was the first president. Duh.
14. The workers who built the pyramids were paid with beer.
    Is that a thing? Where do I sign up?
15. In Amsterdam, alcoholics are paid in beer to clean the streets.
    Oh, so I have to move to Amsterdam? Cool.
16. Beer hops and marijuana are in the same plant family.
    And that should be the case for the legalization of marijuana right there.
17. Beer was safer than water in the Middle Ages due to the alcohol.
    It’s probably still safer than tap water in some places.
18. The first recorded drunk driving accident was recorded in 2000 BC. The culprit was crucified to the door of the tavern that sold him the beer.
    He should have called an Uber.
19. The longest hangover on record is four weeks, by a Scotman who drank sixty pints of beer.
    Amateur.
20. The strongest beer in the world has an alcohol content of 67.5 percent.
    Or roughly the same blood alcohol level as your boyfriend after formal.
21. Slugs like beer.
    Explains why I’m so lazy after I drink one or twelve.
22. The Wat Pa Maha Chedi Kaew temple in Thailand was constructed with one million beer bottles.
    Also see: most of the houses on frat row.
23. In Argentina, political parties have their own brands of beer.
    Finally, the answer to partisanship.
24. At any given moment, approximately .7 percent of the world’s population is drunk. Which equates to about 50 million people being drunk right now.
    Sweet, now I don’t feel so alone..

[via Factslides, Gizmodo]

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Drunk but not in love

(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to [email protected]

• @DrunkNOTinLove