A Case Study of Try Hards

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Nice Move

The “Party Girl” Try-Hard

Party Girl Try Hard
There’s a fine line between “good time” and “I can’t deal with this girl anymore” and she snorted it. This girl is mediocre-looking and remarkably unremarkable in every way but one: she is an absolute shitshow. Every pledge class has a liability issue, but this girl is an intentional disaster. Why? Because she has to prove to everyone how fun she is, and how crazy she is, hoping to show everyone how hard her house rages. Most sororities reprimand girls for getting too out of control, because it’s one thing to have fun, but another to become a poor representation of your house. Why are some middle-tier houses so relaxed with their social standards? Because they’re trying to make their house better, but they’re going about it in the entirely wrong way. A lot of people decide whether a house is good or not by who they pair with. These girls wrongly assume that by acting like complete shitshows, they’ll be perceived as fun, rendering themselves a desirable pair. They could not be further from the truth. Frats want to party with girls that are fun, yes, but they also want girls that are hot, without being risk issues. A pledge class of really pretty girls who like to drink will always be better to party with than a pledge class of girls who are absolute disasters. Yes, blacking out and falling down can make for a funny story, but only if it’s a rare occurrence. Nobody cares that you blacked out, lost all of your belongings, and woke up at some rando’s house when you’ve done the same things 20 times so far this semester. They can (and often do) talk about boys and booze during recruitment in an attempt to seem cool, but in reality, they just seem like try-hards.

The “Classy” Try-Hard

Classy Try-Hard
There’s a time when it’s necessary to wear your pin attire, put on a set of pearls, and maintain your composure. That time, however, isn’t at 3:00AM when you’re dancing on tables, which is totally acceptable, because it’s college. The girl who has to tell everyone how classy she is usually ends up being a total buzzkill. I don’t give a fuck about your Lilly dress, or your Lilly top, or your Lilly vibrator. Do you have any redeeming qualities as an individual? No? Then move along, you’re not impressing me. Houses try to keep up appearances by pretending they only bid perfect ladies who never get out of line and are the most respected girls on campus. Yes, your reputation can be ruined just as quickly as it’s built, but there’s no need to act like you never have fun for the sake of saving face. All that does is make you look stuck up and boring. A classy try-hard will go over the top with her preppy brands, and will keep any moment of indiscretion under wraps. She can make a pretty vicious standards chair, if need be, but mostly, she’s just a huge bitch. As a group, these girls are the exact opposite of the girls who try to let everyone know how hard they party, but they’re much worse, because at least the party girl try-hards can rage. Trust me, nobody’s impressed during recruitment by a bunch of girls who don’t endorse fun. If you are “classy” you won’t need to tell everyone, or constantly remind the girls in your house to act that way. Nobody’s perfect all the time, and implying you are is a pathetic try-hard move. We can all see through it.

The “Dean’s Favorite” Try-Hard

The Dean's Favorite Try-Hard
Do we love Greek Week? Of course. Do we love homecoming? Duh. Are academics important? I’m sure they are for some people. Unfortunately, these girls can’t seem to figure out that the reason we love all these things is that they allow us to have a great time with our sisters, while strengthening relations in the Greek community. Of course we want to win everything, but nobody really gives a fuck that your house has the highest GPA, and the longest winning streak for Greek Sing, and the “most successful” philanthropy (according to you). When it comes down to it, half of the criteria making a sorority top tier involves social activity. Fraternities want to party with houses with hot girls that aren’t annoying when they drink. They don’t give a fuck that your house had the highest cumulative and highest average GPA three semesters running, and they especially don’t care how quick you are to mention that to someone. Nobody likes the house that leaves half way through homecoming week festivities to go study. Do less, girls. Try less.

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