Advisors Are Basically The Periods Of The Sorority World


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Nice Move


Remember when you were about thirteen years old and everything was fabulous? You were just starting to dip your toe into the world of ~fashion~ and you definitely knew how to apply the perfect amount of eyeliner. Justin, the cute boy from class, totally was looking at you all day, and he was definitely going to ask you to your first junior high dance. Becoming a woman seemed great. Until, completely unannounced, your period came along and burst your bubble. Suddenly, you are crying in your room because Justin said “hi” instead of “hey” – god, why does he have to be so insensitive?! And those new jeans? LOL, your period bloat has different plans. Just like that, your idea of womanhood has an inconvenient new shadow.

Flash forward a few years, and you’re sitting in chapter nearly doubled over with a case of cramps. Suddenly, one of your many advisors sauntered up to the front of the room. Her perpetually disproving voice filled the lecture hall, and she began droning on and on about how you needed to take your reputation more seriously and other irrelevant bullshit. That’s when you came to a realization. Advisors are basically the periods of being a sorority woman. You are oblivious of their existence until it’s quite literally too late – suddenly you are an initiated active, with advisors harassing you left and right. You didn’t sign up for this, you didn’t ask for it, and nobody really warned you. But guess what? There is not a damn thing you can do about it.

At their very core, advisors shouldn’t be bad things. They are there to, well, advise. But somewhere along the line, their roles got warped from being a caring confidant to to being a psycho dictator who also may be demonically possessed by the founders themselves. Perhaps I have just been unfortunate enough to have the most delusional women advising my chapter, but I have yet to meet one that I genuinely like. Granted, they do have good ideas and help with the logistics of running an organization of over two hundred women. But they over-step the line far too much.

Whether it be recruitment, initiation, or just chapter, the advisors seem to think that they know best. I get it. They are older, they have more experience than we do in every regard, and they were once in a chapter themselves. But they weren’t in my chapter. And they weren’t in my chapter in 2016. Times have changed, and so have the expectations of what being a sorority woman means. And yes, they may have been a member of the same sorority at a national level, but a northern liberal arts college is a hell of a lot different than a university in the deep south.

Nobody, and I truly mean nobody, knows a chapter better than its current members. Advisors may know the atmosphere of the school, the stereotype of the chapter, and may even be close with members of it. But they are not the ones living it day in and day out. So no, I don’t think we should consider changing our well-planned recruitment theme because you “don’t like it.” Even if you remind me of that fact every time I see you. As much as I appreciate their input, advisors need to end their era of tyranny. I want to like them, I really do. But how am I supposed to bond with a woman who treats my chapter and myself like toddlers?

Advisors need to chill the fuck out. The chapter will not implode if we accidentally say the wrong word in our oath, nor will our reputation be tarnished by the actions of one wayward member. Please stop lecturing us about hypothetical situations, and please stop providing unnecessary contributions for every single event we plan. Just like periods, you don’t have to be that bad. With the right amount of Advil, some chocolate, and maybe a little wine, I think we can get along just fine.

PSLsandPearls has been shotgunning lattes and looking good since the mid 1990's. In her free time, she cuddles with any animal she can find and incessantly bitches about how busy she is. You can email her at (note the single PSL).

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