As July is swiftly coming to a close and recruitment, tailgates, and cooler weather is quickly approaching, it means one thing and one thing only: “American Horror Story” is coming back.
The show that mixes sex with horror in such a way that we fear we’re actually attracted to blood. Or maybe girls? Or hot girls covered in blood hooking up with hot guys also covered in blood? It’s dark and twisted and confusing and holy shit, it’s such a rush. And since, like always, the details have been pretty under wraps (nothing like last season, though. Thank God), we’ve sort of been at a loss of what to expect for season seven. Plus, since Ryan Murphy is basically a sadist who likes to toy with our emotions, we figured we’d be in the dark until halfway into the season like we were with “Roanoke.” But now? The 411 we’ve been waiting for has been set free. Or at least some of it.
Last night at the San Diego Comic-Con, Ryan himself announced the next season’s title of “American Horror Story.” Drum roll, please.
Which is sort of confusing because over and over again he’s said this season will be about that election that threw us for a loop last year. Theories are swirling around that it will be a play on the fact that the government is sort of like a cult. Who’s to say, really? I guess Ryan Murphy is, but when does he ever tell us anything?
Still, here’s what we *do* know:
• It’s called “American Horror Story: Cult.”
• It will have something to do with the election.
• There miiiight be a Trump-like figure.
• But no one will actually play Trump or Clinton.
• Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters (praise be), and Cheyenne Jackson will be returning.
• Billie Lourd and Billy Eichner were cast as well.
• And so was, for some shocking reason, Lena Dunham.
It was recently confirmed by the Hollywood Reporter, however, that she’s only going to be in one episode. So, it looks like we’re only faced with like an hour of vagina time from her. Still, better than “GIRLS.”
No news on if Jessica Lange will make a surprise appearance or if the title sequence song will return, but as with everything “AHS,” we should always just expect the unexpected.
The seventh season of “American Horror Story” is set to return on Tuesday, September 5th and until then, we can all take solace in the fact that even with a season about the election and cults, Ryan Murphy still finds a way to involve creepy fucking clowns.
Fall can’t come soon enough..
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