Alabama To Do INSANE Weekly Drug Tests On Fraternities And Sororities Every Week


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Alabama To Do INSANE Weekly Drug Tests On Fraternities And Sororities Every Week

The University of Alabama seems always to be amid scandal, and now, the school has taken some seemingly drastic measures to keep itself out of trouble. Starting this past semester, on the sneaky, the school rolled out a drug testing program for fraternities and sororities. I mean, technically, the document doesn’t say the word fraternity or sorority in it anywhere, but it does say “pledges,” “new members,” “initiated members,” “whole house,” “active roster,” “new member program,” and the like. So… fraternities and sororities.

Greek organizations made the school newspaper, aware of the program. You may either self-select into the program, or participate based on disciplinary sanctions. Only a few organizations (like Sigma Nu and SAE) seem to be participating at this time, but a recent document was shared with the publication that confirms it, and frankly, the rules and regulations are INSANE. I wasn’t really in a drug sorority, and most of you think you don’t do drugs, but you’ll occasionally hit the ol’ reefer, or pop an addy or Xanax. Is it “wrong”? That’s up for debate, and I’m not a god, just a mere mortal like you.

A breakdown of these insane rules:

At the beginning of each semester, the entire organization will be given a drug test to “develop a baseline.” For what will they be tested you ask? Of course the hard stuff, like heroin, cocaine, and the like, but also for some milder drugs, like marijuana, Xanax, Adderall, and alcohol — so even the decently straight edge kids will be at risk. From there, all eligible (re: clean) students in the program, will be assigned a number, and each week a computer will select 5% of the chapter (a percentage that is subject to increase at the Board’s discretion), to be drug tested by either urine or hair sample. By. Hair. Sample. Hope you’ve never done drugs ever. At the Board’s discretion, they may select additional individuals for testing outside the random 5%, if they have unanimously decided to do so.

When you are called for a drug test, you have 24 hours to complete it, and if you do not, that is considered a failed test. Please don’t leave the school, get sick, or have a really busy day, ever, because a failed test results in suspension from your chapter and a note home to your parents or guardians — even though you’re an adult, your parents need to know if you smoked pot one time. You’ll then be subject to education, counseling, and weekly drug testing. You’ll have the opportunity to be reinstated to your chapter with a makeup drug test which will be conducted with a hair test. If 75% of the students tested in a week fail the drug test, the whole house will be tested immediately, by either urine or hair sample, at the board’s discretion.

Oh, and the fraternity or sorority has to pay for it.

Read the full document below.

MPACT Documents

I know nothing about the law, and I really don’t even know a lot about morality. But this seems fucked.


Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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