All Girls Are Dying For Summer To End But Will Never Admit To


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Nice Move


Summer is great for a lot of reasons. You look at least three times better when you are tan, you can get away with not brushing your hair for a week because it’s your “beachy” look, and you can always opt out of wearing pants and throw on a sundress. But let’s be honest, summer can be a lot of hard work for a lady, and there are some things about the end of summer we look forward to more than Kate Spade’s 75% off sale.

You don’t have to shave religiously
Need I say more? Shaving is the worst part about showers, and in my opinion, the worst part about summer. It takes so much time, your leg hairs grow back with one swift breeze, and it’s occasionally painful. Once summer comes to an end, you can let your inner wooly-mammoth live again. You’re not wearing shorts or dresses, so who cares if you can measure your leg hairs by the centimeter. So long tank tops, which means you won’t be embarrassed when you forget to shave your armpits four days in a row.

You don’t have to pretend you want to be skinny anymore
Beach bods are a lot of pressure. You already know you hate going to the gym, but there is no way you’re going to let some other skinny skank outshine you in your candid “day at the beach” Instagram pictures. On the inside all of use are just dying for that tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the freezer, but you know you’re going to the beach party at the end of the week and your crush will be there, staring at your kangaroo pouch if you eat it. But once fall comes, no more swim suits, which means you can eat all the junk food you want. No one is going to see your body until the lights are off, which means they won’t be able to tell you had a Wendy’s 4 for 4 at lunch today. All bets are now off.

Hoodie Kleptomania
Every. Girl. Has. Hoodie Kleptomania. It is a real disease and we all suffer from it come fall/winter. If you have a boyfriend, you’ve been eyeing his sweatshirt game all summer, occasionally complaining of it being “too cold” in his apartment so you can get a feel as to which ones you are going to steal when it’s always “too cold” outside. If you don’t have a boyfriend, you turn to your best male friend, or hookup, or any male you see walking down the street that has clothes on. They all have hoodies, and you make a strategic plan on how to steal them without them catching on to you. You stay the night at their apartment when you’ve had too much to drink. “Can I borrow some clothes?” you ask. He says yes, per usual. And you then make sure to go straight for the hoodie drawer. Even if it is still 80 degrees outside, you chose not to sleep with a blanket and to sleep in the sweatshirt so that it is easy to sneak out in the morning. Foolproof plan.

As summer’s end draws closer and closer, women all across America can sigh a breath of relief. They dream dreams of being able to braid their leg hair, while eating all the fried chicken in the KFC family bowl, and never having to change out of their sweatpants. Fall has arrived.


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