All Of The “American Horror Story” Teasers Were Lies Because FX Is The Devil


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American Horror Story

I’m a big fan of “American Horror Story.” You’re a big fan of “American Horror Story.” We’re all big fans of “American Horror Story” because it’s the one show that scares us while also turning us on. From haunted houses to asylums, covens to freak shows to hotels, we’ve seen it all. And we *finally* thought we had a theme for season 6. First, we thought it was about Roanoke, the mysterious colony that disappeared. And then, we had suspicions of The Manson Family and all of the strange cult-stories surrounding them. And now, there are some new equally terrifying teasers to make us sleep with the lights on and confuse the shit out of us even more.

First, there’s this one with the baby mobile, and the classic AHS teaser music.

Then, this delightful little example of why I never (ever) go camping.

And then this creature posing on train tracks like any other basic bitch.

So how do these tie in with each other and all of the other previous teasers and hints? Yeah. They don’t. FX came out and said, naw bitch. According to Entertainment Weekly all of those were a lie. Actually, scratch that. All but *one* of those were a lie. And the kicker? We don’t know which one is real.

The FX CEO, John Landgraf said,

We just thought that would be a nice change after five years of doing things one way. Every year, we’ve basically laid out the themes, the new genre that Ryan’s going to be approaching, and we just thought [this year] it’d be really fun to keep it a mystery. So, we are. The scripts come in, and they’ve got my name emblazoned across them and there’s only one script that comes into the company. Everything’s blacked out that might give away the [setting]… and what [head of marketing] Stephanie [Gibbons] and her team, with Ryan’s help, did was they went out and made many more trailers than you’ve actually seen for hypothetical seasons of American Horror Story. Different genres, different places. I think they’re really fun and funny and beautifully, artfully made… and a lot of them are accurate. The others are all misdirects.

HA! HA! SO FUNNY, JOHN! I’m not sure if these new teasers are legit or not, but they do manage to scare the shit out of us while simultaneously be infuriating. The only thing we know for sure, other than the fact that one of the teasers out there is real, is that “elements of children” will be in this season. Super helpful, right?

So at this point, we know jack shit other than that it starts on September 14 at 10 p.m. ET on FX. And that FX enjoys fucking with us. Ryan Murphy you ole devil, you.

[via MTV, Entertainment Weekly]

Image via Youtube

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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