Am I Actually A Drag Queen?


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Nice Move

Like every other millennial, I am a binge watcher. Despite all the horrible things psychologists say about it (what do they know anyway?), I just can’t help myself. My newest binge? Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I’d seen several episodes over the years, but never really dove in head first. But when Ru announced that world famous Britney Spears impersonator, Derrick Barry would be on the show, I knew my time to binge was now.

As I started my third consecutive season over the course of two weeks, I began to make some shocking realizations. After years of watching shows like America’s Next Top Model, I found myself relating more to these queens than anyone before. Am I actually a drag queen?

I may not be a YouTube makeup artist guru, but I know how to cake on a face of makeup. While my friends can get ready in around an hour, that is a damn near impossible task for me. I felt comforted when I found out that the makeup process alone on drag race took over an hour. Beauty takes time, people!!!

But I found my makeup techniques to be very similar to that of what I witnessed on RPDG. Dramatic long and also voluminous false lash no matter the occasion? Check. Over the top contour? Check. Over-lined bold lip? Check. Another eerie similarity, is that I too, look unrecognizable out of my makeup. Coincidence? I think not.

Do you find yourself using terms like, “werk,” “yasss,” or “shade”? Well thank a drag queen, because that’s where they got their origin. No tea, no shade, but life without a colorful vocabulary is just not a life I want to live! I use drag vocabulary so casually in my everyday life, and didn’t even realize it until I noticed people didn’t know what the hell I was taking about.

What do you mean I shouldn’t beat my face? Of course “gagging” isn’t an insult! No, I’m not making up these words. I swear!!! I felt like I was taking crazy pills.

I frequent my local bar scene, but between us, it’s not because I have a love affair with alcohol (okay maybe the alcohol doesn’t hurt). I go out because it gives me an opportunity to debut new outfits. I think “outfits” probably doesn’t accurately describe it. It’s more like, debuting new looks.

Much like the drag queens on RPDR, I put a lot of thought and effort into what I’m going to wear out. If I know I’ll be heading out that night, I spend all day not only mentally planning out my outfit, but also what hairstyle would suit it best, what lip color would compliment it nicely, and what shoe is really going to take it to the next level. I too, don’t mind going over the top. Wear a wig? Sure why not? Over the knee boot with shorts? Bring it! The similarities are all so much.

During the day, I look like a dirty troll bridge that hasn’t slept for over a century. Yet that doesn’t stop me from walking strutting around with the confidence of Rihanna on the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show runway. It doesn’t make any sense, until I noticed that is exactly how drag queens are. Dun dun dun. Ru Paul ends every show with this quote, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anybody else?” Which is exactly the mantra I use to justify my chronic singleness, and two, use to ignore/accept my ~flaws.~

With the exception of one minor unimportant detail, I have accepted the fact that yes, I am a drag queen. Besides, we’re born naked and the rest is drag.

Image via YouTube


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