Anna Kendrick: A Tweet For All Occassions

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Anna Kendrick: A Tweet For Every Occasion

I’m fairly certain Anna Kendrick is becoming my favorite new Hollywood star. I’ve known this for a while, because I’m still maintaining she and Taylor Lautner’s abs were the only things that made any of the Twilight movies worth watching. I really do feel Anna stole the show as the snarky, mega, psycho bitch, Jessica, who was “friends” with Bella. Since Twilight, Anna’s also done Up in the Air, which was borderline amazing, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, 50/50, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, ParaNorman (some Pixar scenario), End of Watch, and most recently, Pitch Perfect. Kendrick has already done a great job showcasing her acting skills, and in any interview I’ve ever seen with her, she’s proven to be hilarious, charming, and classy. I’d already added Anna Kendrick to my “love” list, but once I started following her on Twitter, I was SOLD. This girl is a) fucking hilarious, and b) the most relatable person in the world. I think we might be secret BFFs. Anyway, aside from plotting to get her to meet me for a lunch or day drinking date where we decide to vacay together, I’m motioning for a creation of a Hallmark card line featuring Anna Kendrick’s tweets. She can perfectly capture what anyone is feeling, or at least what they want to say, for any situation in 140 characters or less.

A “Get well soon” card:


A card to give your single friends when they want to plan a “tame” girls’ night instead of getting wasted, and you’d much prefer the bar scene:


Your slutty friend’s ex-boyfriend leaked her nudes and you don’t know what to say because you think she’s an idiot, and you’d prefer to send a card:


Some annoying person just gave birth, and “congratulations” are in order:


“Happy Halloween” greeting card:

And the inside of that card, naturally:


When you’re trying to empathize with a younger relative who didn’t get into their top choice school:


If you’re abroad during recruitment and need to screen future grand-littles, you could send them this:


Need an excuse for being so useless the day after the Super Bowl? Send this one out:


When you need to express how you spend 99% of your days with a hangover:


Or just when you need to tell someone, “I’m Thinking of You,” AKA I’m doing great, and you still suck:


To the people find your web presence “offensive:”


Or, best of all, the card to tell your old friends you can’t deal with them for six months, and to explain to your parents you’ve opted to extend your semester abroad in Paris and you’d appreciate their (financial) support while you “find yourself,” because, allegedly, throwing temper tantrums has a limited time of social acceptability:


So anyway, follow her on Twitter, because she’s the third funniest girl ever. Hot Piece and I are obviously the first two.

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